


Say it Again

by Nyxako



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kakashi is also blind, Living Together, POV Hatake Kakashi, but not literally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-03-25 08:41:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 36,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13830546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxako/pseuds/Nyxako
Summary: A story in which Kakashi loses his hearing during a mission, only to later realize that the only thing he can hear anymore is the sound of Sakura's voice. [KakaSaku]





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Hello~_  
>  This takes place after the war ends, but before Kakashi takes the role of Hokage.  
> This is my first writing venture into the KakaSaku fandom, and also my first venture in het pairings at all. Any comments/concrit would be greatly appreciated.

It had all seemed so simple. Infiltrate a Kirigakure prison on Mokuzu Island, investigate the rumors that one of the prison guards had developed a jutsu capable of eliminating one of the five senses and was testing it on prisoners, find sufficient evidence that it was complete bullshit, then promptly escape. Kakashi had been on many missions with a similar itinerary with varying locations and rumors, and every single one of them had been completed without a hitch as he'd discovered that most of the time, the outlandish claims were usually just elaborate genjutsu. There was no reason for this mission to go any differently, but somehow it had and for the first time in years, Kakashi was terrified.

His eyes darted around the large holding cell frantically as he reached for the small blade he'd hidden in his leg wraps, taking in the chaos around him while trying to get his bearings. There were easily 50 men and women surrounding him in the cell, some of them civilian and some of them ninja, but all of them were in various states of panic. A brawl had broken out amidst the confusion, bodies leaping around him as punches were thrown at anyone and everyone. The man who had cast the jutsu that caused the scene had escaped long ago and would likely be impossible to track at this point. 

Kakashi felt his nostrils flare as the scent of blood grew closer to his back, and he quickly swung his body around to drive his blade into the stomach of the man who'd been trying to sneak up on him. The man fell to the ground with a heavy thump, a sound that he should have been able to hear. Kakashi stared down at the man, watched as his mouth opened and closed rapidly as if yelling at him, and felt the panic that had been slowly seeping into his system hit him with full force. He could no longer hear anything.

From the corner of his eyes, he watched as a pink blur made its way through the room, pummeling through men faster than they could appear. Sakura looked up at him and opened her mouth, yelling something at him that he couldn't hear. Her eyes were focused on something behind him, so he took his best educated guess of what she was trying to tell him and quickly ducked to the floor and swung his leg out, tripping the three men who had been trying to attack him with one swift movement, following up with a kick that sent them flying into the wall so hard that it cracked. 

Kakashi looked back at Sakura just as the ground beneath him started to rumble, his eyes wincing from the harsh sunlight that was now illuminating the prison cell. Sakura had gathered a pile of bodies to stand on and punched her way through the ceiling, a dent in the wall next to her indicating that she'd tried to break through that first. She held her hand out as she opened her mouth and (presumably) yelled something at him, probably something along the lines of 'Hurry up already' knowing her. Kakashi felt himself pause for the tiniest of moments before his feet ran toward her where she stood atop the pile of bodies. Sakura grabbed his hand and lifted him to the top of the pile, and then they were escaping. They ran across the top of the prison and jumped to the ground when they reached the edge, following the direction of the setting sun for hours until they reached the small port where their ship was supposed to meet them at nightfall. 

Kakashi was, for a lack of a better word, scared. For hours he ran, feeling the ground beneath his feet, smelling the changes in the landscapes as he watched them change from bustling towns to empty clearings. He could feel the sweat on his skin, taste the salt in the air from the sea, but he never once heard the wind rushing past his ears. He didn't hear the rustling of the branches as they jumped through the trees, couldn't hear the waves crashing against the cliff they ran along. The only sound he was able to hear was his own breathing, and even then something felt off, like he wasn't actually hearing it and instead it was just resonating through his mind because it was something he _should_ have been able to hear. There was something else strange about the sound, but he couldn't place his finger on it and by the time they reached the port, he was too exhausted to question it.

They managed to reach their destination just in time for the ship to appear. Kakashi smiled wearily at Sakura as they boarded the ship, finding a small storage room beneath the deck to hide out for the trip back to Fire Country. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that she had probably paid their captain before following him into the cramped room, but he was far too disoriented to really register any thought except for the obvious one questioning what the hell was going on.

He didn't know how long he was staring at the floor before a small hand had invaded his vision, waving itself up and down wildly. Kakashi blinked and looked up to see Sakura staring at him, her eyebrows knitted together and lips pursed. It was the same look she gave him when he told her he didn't need healing even when there was a kunai sticking awkwardly out of his thigh. Her expression was two parts concerned and one part frustrated, and he realized belatedly that she had probably been trying to get his attention for a while. Kakashi watched as her lips moved and knew that she was asking if he was alright, but that was more so because he just knew her; his ability to read lips had diminished significantly without his sharingan to help him.

"I'm fine, Sakura. Just shake me awake when we get there," Kakashi said, or at least that's what he _hoped_ he said. He could feel the rumbling in his chest, but without his hearing it was impossible to tell if he had slurred his words at all and had no idea if he'd just whispered or spoke in a normal volume. He saw her eyes narrow and he offered her a small smile in return before leaning his head back against the crates and letting his eyes slip closed. 

As he felt himself drift off to sleep, he could have sworn he heard Sakura muttering something about Tsunade and something being strange. He found comfort in the thought, hoping that maybe the jutsu only had a temporary effect or was reset by sleep or something else that would allow him to return to normal once the ship reached Fire Country in two days. As far as reasons for jutsus to cancel themselves, it didn't make a whole lot of sense, but neither did anything that had happened in the last twelve hours.

*****

It had been a long time since Kakashi had gone to the Hokage office immediately after a mission; usually he was either forced into the hospital, or wound up hiding in his apartment to leave the mission reports to someone else. This time he hadn't had much of a choice as Sakura had gripped his wrist with bruising strength the second they'd entered Konoha, dragging him along behind her all the way to Tsunades' office. To her credit, she had offered him an apologetic smile and healed his wrist as soon as the door had shut behind them, but it didn't really do much to make him feel better about being trapped in a room with three of the strongest kunoichi in the entire village without his hearing.

Kakashi watched as Tsunade read through the mission report, noticing the way her eyebrows furrowed together as she got toward the end of the scroll. The blonde woman looked up at him and said something, to which he just stared at her blankly and stuffed his hands into his pockets. He knew that saying the wrong thing to Tsunade was always a gamble, and it was one that he wasn't willing to bet on without knowing what she said first.

Tsunades' eyes narrowed as she watched him for a long moment before turning her attention to Shizune. They spoke for a long moment before glancing back at him. Tsunade opened her mouth again and said something which Shizune nodded at before turning and approaching him. Kakashi felt himself stiffen uncomfortably, his heart jumping into his throat for the briefest of seconds. He knew he could trust these women with his life, and often did when he came back battered and bruised, but it was hard to convince his more innate survival instincts of that when they were thrown so far off balance with the sudden loss of a very necessary function for a shinobi.

Kakashi felt a hand slip into the crook of his arm, gripping his forearm just hard enough to break his focus. He glanced down to his right where Sakura was smiling at him, trying to be reassuring despite the concern etched across her features. A breath he hadn't known he was holding escaped him, and he did his best to offer her a weak smile in return before shifting his gaze back to where it had been previously.

Shizune was standing in front of him now, her hands gently placed on either side of his temples. He closed his eyes as the grip on his arm tightened, nodding his head slowly to let Shizune know he was ready for her to probe around and try to figure out what was wrong. Kakashi sighed as he felt the chakra seep into his system, felt it moving around inside of his head and gently touch his nerves to assess the damage. 

It felt like a lifetime later when the chakra flow slowly pulled back. His eyes opened cautiously to observe Shizunes' expression, instantly regretting it when he saw the downward tug of her lips as she shook her head. His gaze turned back to Tsunade, asking all of the questions he wasn't sure he could articulate at the moment. She seemed to sigh from her desk, her eyes lifting over to Sakura before speaking.

"Yes, Shishou."

Kakashi blinked, his eyes narrowing as he turned to look at Sakura. For a split second, he could have sworn he heard her speak. It wasn't possible, obviously, because he knew his hearing wasn't suddenly back. His eyes had been trained on Tsunade the entire time and she had also been speaking. If anything, his mind had probably started playing tricks on him from being so desperate to hear something, _anything_ , and out of everyone in the room, he knew Sakuras' voice the best. Yes, that was the only logical explanation.

"When I examined him on the ship while he was asleep, it seemed like there was something.... off, with his cochlea. I tried everything I could think of to heal it, but it didn't seem like there was anything to fix. It was just different, like it had stopped sending out any responses to stimuli even though everything appeared to be intact. The amount of liquid was correct, the hairs themselves were responsive, the ossicles were perfectly fine, and there was nothing wrong with the eardrum or the ear canal. There should be nothing stopping him from hearing. It's almost as if the signals have been completely cut off without actually being severed or altered in any way."

Okay, now he was for sure going crazy. Kakashi had watched Sakura the entire time she spoke, and the movement of her lips had matched the words he could hear. His lips tugged into a deep frown as he mulled over that thought, realizing that 'hear' wasn't exactly the correct word to use. It didn't _feel_ like he was hearing what she said, but more like he was feeling what she said directly in his mind. But it wasn't like she had any of the Yamanaka Clan's telepathic ability, so it couldn't be that either. 

Suddenly, Kakashi was pulled from his thoughts as he felt the floor vibrate under his feet. He looked up, confused, until he saw Tsunade holding a piece of paper toward him with the words 'What's wrong?' written on it. She must have stomped her foot hard enough to get his attention after realizing that yelling wasn't working.

"I... I think I heard Sakura speak just now," Kakashi said, knowing that there would be a questioning tone to his voice. It had been two days since his hearing had suddenly disappeared, at the hands of some jutsu he hadn't even believed in before, and for some reason he could only hear Sakura's voice? It seemed impossible, but then again, so had the jutsu.

Tsunades brow furrowed as she seemed to think about this for a long moment, before rubbing her fingers over her temples and waving a hand in Sakuras' direction, her lips opening and closing as she said something to her apprentice. Kakashi let his eyes fall back to the woman next to him, noticing that her expression was just as confused as his probably was. Their eyes locked for a long moment as she seemed to contemplate something, the frown on her lips becoming more prominent.

"Kakashi?" She asked softly, her eyes darting to focus on each of his eyes in turn.

"Yes, Sakura?"

He saw the intake of breath she took as her eyes glanced back over to Tsunade immediately. She was obviously shaken, and if he was being honest, so was he. Kakashi had always considered himself somewhat of a loner, but after more than forty eight hours of hearing absolutely nothing, it was nice to hear something again.

"I'm going to tell you to do some things, and I need you to listen to me. I know you hate following instructions, especially when it comes to anything medical, but please do this. For me."

Kakashi watched her for a long moment before letting a small chuckle escape his lips, feeling his chest vibrate with the sound he was undoubtedly making. He nodded his head slowly, and the smile that appeared on her lips was so hopeful it made him smile in return.

"Okay, just to make sure you're not reading my lips, turn around to face the bookshelf."

Kakashi complied, turning away from her and keeping his eyes trained on the bookshelf, tilting his head to the side as he noticed a few orange spines that looked familiar. Was Tsunade even aware that she had the entire Icha Icha collection sitting out in the open in the Hokage office?

"Raise your right hand," Came the first command, which Kakashi followed easily. "Okay, put that hand back down. On your hip, but not in your pocket." Kakashi rolled his eyes a little as he followed the instruction, practically hearing the squeal of excitement coming from the pink haired woman, though a part of him had to wonder if maybe he actually had heard it, given the current situation.

The instructions flowed easily from then on, and he easily followed each one, even as her instructions started becoming more silly. 

"Stand on just your left foot. Cross your arms. Put your finger on your nose. Lean your head back to look at me."

At the last one Kakashi laughed before tilting his head all the way back to look at her. Even with everything turned upside down he could tell that she was positively beaming, obviously excited that the situation wasn't completely hopeless.

"Hello," Sakura grinned, earning another chuckle from Kakashi before she gathered herself. "Oh right, you can stand back up straight again and you can put your foot back down. Um, let's see.... What's the first test you ever put us through?"

"The bell test?"

"What's my least favorite food?"

"Anything spicy."

"Aww, I didn't actually expect you to remember," Sakura giggled, her voice trailing off as she seemed to be thinking of something else to ask. After a long moment of silence Kakashi felt his panic start bubbling back up (when had it left?) because maybe she was saying things to him and he just couldn't hear her again. 

"Sakura?"

"Take off your mask."

Kakashi blinked, for some reason finding himself more surprised than he ought to be. It was just like her to try to pull some sly method like this, using her position as a medic to hang over his head. Still, the fact that even after all these years she was still curious made him happy and he found himself smiling in spite of himself.

"You know I'm not going to do that, Sakura. You didn't even say please."

"Oh, fine."

Kakashi chuckled as he turned around, ruffling her hair as revenge for even trying it. She squealed, quickly trying to pat it back down neatly, but the damage was already done. Sakuras' hair was frizz city, and he found himself storing the image away in his mind for the next time he needed a laugh at his favorite ex-students expense.

The somewhat pleasant moment suddenly plummeted as Kakashi glanced back over at Tsunade and Shizune, seeing them speak to each other in hurried voices (if the speed at which their lips moved was any indication) while glancing up at him every so often. He remembered why he was there to begin with, the sinking feeling in his gut growing heavier as he wondered out loud to no one in particular. 

"Well, what now?"

*****

Apparently he was going to be staying at Sakura's place for a while, that was what. The logic behind it was completely sound and he knew it made sense, but for some reason it still made him uncomfortable to be relying on someone who he used to teach. He knew that Sakura was an adult now and she'd had her own place for years. It was even bigger than his shabby little apartment with its own seperate guest room, but it didn't make him feel any better.

The current theory was that the only reason he could hear Sakura was because she had been close to him when the jutsu was cast. It made as much sense as anything else had recently, but given the fact that he all of a sudden couldn't hear, he wasn't sure that anything actually made sense anymore.

"Is this everything you want to bring?"

Kakashi looked up from his dresser drawer to where Sakura stood. She was hovering around the doorway to his bedroom, several of his favorite books in one hand and Mr. Ukki in the other. 

"That should be about it," Kakashi replied, hoping that his voice wasn't too loud as he reached out, grabbing the books from her one hand and tossing them into the backpack he'd been throwing clothes into for the last ten minutes. He supposed that most people would consider the fact that the only worldly possessions he cared about were books and a plant quite sad, but it suited him just fine. There weren't even many clothes to go through either, and they were all pretty much the same. He'd just been trying to find the ones that were the least worn out, since they had no idea how long he would be forced to stay at Sakuras apartment. The time estimate had essentially been until the jutsu wore off or until they figured out a way to fix the signals that should be going to his brain, but since they weren't actually damaged or different in any way, that option seemed very unlikely to happen. 

Sakura stepped through the doorway into his bedroom and looked around, humming softly as she took in what would no doubt look like a barren wasteland compared to her place. Her gaze wandered over every inch of the small room, her eyes softening a little when she noticed the picture he had of team seven on his windowsill by his bed. Kakashi smiled sheepishly before tossing the last of the clothing he was bringing into the bag.

"Well, should we be off?"

*****

It was an odd feeling for sure, being unable to hear anything but still being accutely aware of the things going on around him. It had been a few weeks since Kakashi had lost his hearing, and he was learning to get by without it. His vision had remained the same and he'd learned how to judge the volume of his voice by practicing with Sakura. After a few days he found himself able to feel footsteps through the vibrations in the wooden floor of Sakuras apartment, and his already good sense of smell had become even better, alerting him to the presence of people whose footsteps were unusually quiet. Which was a good thing, given that the people around him were almost all shinobi and quiet footsteps kind of came with the territory.

Within the first week he had managed to convince Sakura to go out and spar with him every other day when her shifts at the hospital were shorter than normal. Tsunade had taken her off active duty so that she could be around to monitor his condition, which he was more than a little thankful for. He could have probably dealt with being unable to converse with anyone for such a long period of time, if it weren't for the fact that he would have had to make himself food every day. Without Sakura, he probably would have died from all the instant ramen.

" _On impulse he crowds into Minho’s space, close enough to see the way Minho’s pupils blow wide at his proximity. He presses flush against Minho’s taller body and Jinki tilts his head invitingly. It doesn’t take much for Minho to slant his mouth against Jinki’s and sag into his loose embrace; like a suppliant before a deity. Wanton and begging._

 _They kiss slowly, drinking the other in like they’ve been starved for it. Minho curls his hand against the back of Jinki’s head, blunt nails dragging across his scalp, and Jinki shivers. His fingers dig into Minho’s shirt. It’s a moment he wishes they could stretch out longer, preferably in their bed._ "

Kakashi froze as he felt Sakuras' footsteps approaching the front door of the apartment from his place on the living room floor. With a few quick movements that he'd gotten used to over the last few weeks, he stood up and returned her romance novel to the bookshelf, maneuvered around the coffee table to reach the front door, and opened it for her before she had even gotten her keys out. 

"I swear, if you're lying about not being able to hear, I will break your legs and throw you in the hospital to heal naturally without any chakra aid."

"I can't believe you think I would do that."

Sakura rolled her eyes in response as she stepped into the apartment, kicking off her shoes before passing the threshold. Kakashi just grinned at her, knowing that her threats weren't completely empty, but also knowing that in that scenario she would probably only break one of his legs out of kindness.

"Well, I know you can't hear anyone else because you didn't even react last week when Tsunade was over and kept trashing Icha Icha in front of you."

Kakashi blinked, his eyes widening with surprise as he watched Sakura walk off toward her bedroom, not even realizing that she had placed a bag in his hands. He remembered when Tsunade had been over the week before to check in on him. She had stayed there for hours, mostly talking with Shizune while looking at him and judging his reactions. Sakura had laughed a few times and even told her she was going too far once, but he had expected her to be talking badly about him. He would have never thought she would go so low as to trash Icha Icha in front of him. When he got his hearing back, he would have to have words with her about respecting the literary masterpieces Jiraiya had left behind. 

Sakura emerged from her room in a tank top and shorts, her short hair tied back into a small pony tail at the nape of her neck. She looked up at him with a relaxed smile before heading into the living room, knowing that he would follow. In the weeks he had been there, they'd developed a routine. Every day that she worked a full shift at the hospital, she would come home with something to eat for dinner, and every day that she worked shorter shifts, they would pick up dinner on the way home after they sparred. Kakashi found it comforting to have some sense of normalcy even while he was still unsure if anything would actually be normal ever again.

Kakashi placed the bag of food onto the coffee table in the living room before sitting on the floor beside Sakura where they usually ate dinner together. The first few nights, she had sat on the couch asking why he always sat on the floor. When he told her it was more comfortable because he could feel vibrations through the floor, she had hummed softly before sliding onto the floor next to him with a grin. Ever since then, she had sat on the floor as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and it always made him smile just a little bit. It was a kind gesture, another small comfort in the chaos of a world with almost no sound, and even though he never expressed his gratitude, he knew she was aware that it meant the world to him.

"I'm not sure which one is yours and which one is mine," Sakura mumbled, her eyebrows knitted together as a frown tugged at her lips. She sniffed at both of the dishes before handing one to Kakashi hesitantly.

Kakashi watched Sakura out of the corner of his eyes, fighting to keep his expression neutral as he grabbed his chopsticks, acting as if he was about to take a bite. He couldn't keep his lips from tugging downward as he watched her pick at the spicy dish as if it had no smell. Her eyes glanced up at him, and he could see a flash of nervousness in her expression, as if asking him for reassurance, before she tossed some food into her mouth and began chewing. She looked confused for a moment before her expression turned into shock and probably pain. She jumped up from the floor and darted out of the living room toward the kitchen.

"Why didn't you tell me I had the wrong one?!" Sakura asked incredulously as she came back into the living room, a tall glass of water in one hand. She plopped down next to him again and quickly traded their dishes, her anger apparent in the way she slammed the glass of water onto the table so hard he felt the table shake. 

"Sakura," Kakashi began, his voice trailing off momentarily as he watched her eat her food. "Are you sure you didn't lose any of your senses from the jutsu as well?"

Sakura looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise just long enough for Kakashi to notice it before she laughed, shooting him a cheerful grin. Her reaction only made him more suspicious, and he felt the frown tug deeper on his lips as he watched her.

"Don't worry so much about me, Kakashi. I must be coming down with a cold or something. My nose has been kind of stuffy lately."

It sounded like a plausible reason, but Kakashi knew better. For over a month, her voice had been the only thing he was able to hear, which meant that he would be able to pick out any differences in her speech better than anyone else. There was nothing in her tone of voice to indicate sickness, but he knew that if Sakura was lying about something, there had to be a good reason. He hummed softly before digging into his food, choosing to let it slide. He would press her for more information later.

*****

"Can't we just stay home today?"

Kakashi sighed faintly before turning his eyes to the pouting woman sitting beside him on the living room floor. Her pink hair had fallen into her eyes despite her best attempts to keep it held back with a hair tie. She was lounging around in her standard pajamas of a tank top and shorts, which made Kakashi feel slightly overdressed in his black slacks and sleeveless shirt with attached mask. He had grown used to seeing her walk around the apartment in very little clothing, but for some reason his eyes had started wandering against his will recently. They had been, for all intents and purposes, living together for two months now. His hearing had yet to show any signs of recovery and the missions Tsunade had sent people on to find and kill the man who had cast the jutsu all came up empty. They'd been hoping that killing him would deactivate the effects, but it looked like luck wasn't on his side.

"Sakura, you finally have a day off. I figured you would want to go out and see some of your friends."

"I see them all the time at the hospital and besides, it's raining," Sakura replied, waving her arm at the window as if to show him that yes, it was in fact raining.

"You're a ninja. We've worked in worse conditions and fought for our lives in them. Why does it matter if it's raining?"

Sakura stared blankly for a long moment before letting out an exasperated groan, throwing her hands in the air as if he was the most infuriating person in the world. Kakashi did everything he could to keep his eyes blank, grateful for his mask hiding the smirk playing along his lips. He was being difficult on purpose to see her reaction, but he would never tell her that. He found far too much amusement in it to risk destroying their new dynamic, where he was an intentional pain in her ass and she rose to the bait every time.

"You know what? This is my apartment and you haven't been my teacher in years and we're both jonin and I don't care what you say, I'm staying home today and that's the end of it."

Kakashi felt the smirk grow into a full blown grin as a chuckle escaped his lips. "Sakura, if you wanted to spend an entire day _at home with me_ , you could have just said so."

Sakura froze, her eyes widening as she gaped at him in shock. He tried his best to not react, he really did, but she was staring at him like an electrocuted fish and before he realized it he was laughing out loud, head falling back onto the couch cushions. His eyes were tearing up at the corners and he found it hard to breathe.

He took a quick glance at Sakuras expression through watery eyes, watching as she went from disbelief to embarassment to anger in one fell swoop. Once anger hit, she let out an indignant scream and threw a rogue couch pillow into his stomach, sending him into another fit of laughter despite the pain her throw had caused.

"You're insufferable!"

Kakashi kept laughing even as she stalked off to the other end of the apartment. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed this hard or had this much fun with just one person. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that every time either of them used the word 'home' it started to feel a little bit more like what he imagined to be the truth. He had never felt truly relaxed in his apartment, having had it for the sole intent of having a place to sleep between missions. If he had free time, he would always spend it outside of his apartment, somewhere in a tree or laying in the grass reading a book. In Sakuras home, however, he found himself able to unwind in a way that he hadn't known was possible for him. He wasn't sure if it was because of the way the place was decorated or if it was the company, but he was beginning to feel like he was heading into dangerous territory. 

Kakashi looked up at the faint vibration of shuffling feet somewhere to his left, blinking in surprise for a moment before biting back another laugh. 

"Sakura, I think you better come out here! Your comforter has learned to walk on its own!" He yelled out, grinning as her pink hair appeared from over the top of the giant wad of blankets that she was carrying in her arms. He heard her let out a huff of annoyance and felt himself chuckle before standing up to take the giant lump of fabric from her arms.

"Thank you," Sakura grinned, their earlier argument seemingly forgotten as her eyes shined with laughter. "I'm going to make some tea to keep warm, would you like some?"

Kakashi nodded and watched as she headed off into the kitchen, his eyes lingering on her bare shoulders for just a moment too long. A frown tugged at the edge of his lips as he turned to place the comforter on the couch instead of the usual floor, knowing that she would want to cuddle herself in the giant ball of fluff on top of the soft cushions since the room _was_ pretty chilly.

"You know, you could have just put more clothes on when you were back there if you were so cold," Kakashi said, trying his best to keep his voice flat so she wouldn't realize the reason he made the statement.

"Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you?" Sakura asked, her voice teasing as she poked her head out of the kitchen with a smirk playing at the edge of her lips. "That's too bad though. I hate wearing too many clothes in my own apartment, and honestly if you weren't here I would be wearing a lot less."

Kakashi felt his jaw drop ever so slightly, his gaze staying focused on where her head had been long after she'd popped it back into the kitchen. He remembered the vague feeling of entering 'dangerous territory' that he'd pushed aside just moments ago as the precarious feeling hit him in the head like a steel beam. Images were appearing in his mind of Sakura walking around her apartment like he was so used to her doing, calm and relaxed and smiling like always, only in these images she wasn't wearing anything. He had seen her naked many times over the years, since it kind of came with the frequent traveling together that was associated with their particular profession, so the image was easy enough to create. The part that made him worried, however, was his own reaction. 

_"No. No no no no no. Stop it, Hatake,"_ Kakashi thought to himself as he made a beeline toward her bathroom, doing his best to keep his composure and keep his pace normal even though he felt like running. When the door shut behind him, he let out a deep breath and leaned his forearms on the sink, closing his eyes as he let his head hang low enough for his chin to hit his chest.

Kakashi did his best to squash every image that appeared in his mind, but with every picture that was destroyed another one rose up to take its place. Logically he knew that Sakura was no longer his twelve year old student who could do nothing but obsess over Sasuke, and he had known this for a very long time. Her body was that of a woman, and he had no problem admitting that. The issue he was having was that he realized with the images popping up in his mind, he wasn't reacting to her body at all; he was simply reacting to _her_. He found it more difficult to suppress the images of her smile and the sounds of her laughter than the flashes of her figure. His own body was reacting, not with the lust he would have expected, but with a nervous tension he hadn't felt in years. 

Dangerous didn't even begin to cover the land mine filled crossing he found himself at. If the feeling bubbling in his chest had just been lust, it would have been easy enough to take care of with his hand or just ignore, but instead his mind and body had decided betray him like the assholes they were and procure feelings of actual, well, _feelings_. He shook his head vigorously as he willed that particular train of thought to fall of the railway before it had time to fully form. He would not, under any circumstance, allow himself to think about that as if it were possible for him to feel something for Sakura. 

Kakashi finally opened his eyes and looked up, glaring at himself in the mirror for a long moment before pulling his mask down and splashing his face with cold water until his cheeks were numb. He would have to do everything in his power to ignore whatever was going on, and if that failed he would need to find a way to get himself away from her. After glaring at himself for another long while, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before lifting his mask back up to his face and leaving the bathroom, his eyes filled with focused determination to ignore whatever the hell had just come over him.

"Oh! There you are," Sakura called out, her back turned to him as she stood by her bookshelf. Kakashi could practically hear the smile in her voice as he shuffled over to the coffee table, taking his usual place on the floor and glancing across the room to where Sakura stood. "Pick a number one through three."

"Four," Kakashi replied instantly, fighting off a squirm at the way her laughter carried across the living room and left a small tingle running down his spine. 

"I figured you might say that, so I actually had five choices," Sakura shot back with a grin as she grabbed something from the bookshelf and turned back to face him. "I figured we could watch a movie tonight for a change of pace."

"Um, Sakura," Kakashi started, his voice trailing off as he waited for her to realize the obvious. When she stared back at him as innocently as ever, he let out a small sigh and pointed to his ear. It took her a moment to realize what he was trying to explain, but when she did she gave him a sheepish grin and shrugged her shoulders.

"Sorry, Kakashi. I sometimes forget that you can't actually hear because you're perfectly fine talking to me."

Sakura hummed softly to herself as she walked over to the small TV, sliding the DVD into the player anyway and grabbing the remote before going back over toward where he sat. She fell onto the couch instead of the floor, as he'd predicted, and huddled into the corner, pulling the comforter around herself and holding the remote in front of her outside the blankets. She hesitated, as if trying to decide on something before a grin took over her lips in a blinding smile.

"I got it! We'll make our own dialogue!"

"What?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he stared at the pink haired woman as if she'd lost her mind.

"We'll watch the movie and make up the dialogue as it plays. I'll have the volume muted so I can't hear anything either, and we can just kind of make our own story."

Kakashi stared at her blankly for a long moment before letting a smile tug at the corners of his lips. Maybe this was why he felt so comfortable around her recently, and a small part of him wondered if maybe this was the reason for his new reactions to her as well. Since finding out that he couldn't hear anyone but her, she hadn't pitied him once and had instead tried to find a way to merge their two worlds together. She sat on the floor with him because it made him relax, sparred with him like he still had his hearing instead of treating him like he was disabled, and found ways to do normal everyday things with him so that he didn't feel alone. He felt his chest grow warm with the realization of how compassionate these small gestures really were. The warmth in his chest was quickly replaced with cold however, as he realized that his mask had gotten wet in the bathroom. He fought back a shiver, even though he knew the effort was pointless when facing a medic of her caliber; she was trained to look for anything that might make him sick.

"Hey, why don't you come up here on the couch?" Sakura asked, her voice hesitant as she watched him closely, something flashing through her eyes that he couldn't recognize, or maybe didn't want to recognize. "I promise I'll listen for anything going on outside and you can summon your ninken if you think it'll help you feel more comfortable. It really is cold in here and this comforter is big enough for both of us and most of the dogs, except maybe Bull."

Kakashi thought about arguing for a moment before he felt another shiver travel down his spine. His mind ran through his options as he tried to think of a way to remain on the floor without inciting Sakuras medic mode wrath. He could go and change into a dry shirt, but all of his long sleeved shirts were currently in the washer and the sleeveless shirts would do very little to protect him from the low temperature of the room. He could sit on the floor in front of Sakura and wrap himself in the comforter that way, but he wasn't sure he trusted himself being that close to her under the blanket after the way he had reacted earlier. He could claim that he was actually quite tired and just go to bed, but it was still relatively early in the day and he would never be able to get out of it without further questioning. He could-

"You don't trust me to keep you safe, do you?" Sakura asked, her voice soft as she curled further into the covers. Kakashis eyes flew up to study her expression, finding himself more surprised than he should have been at the genuine hurt playing over her features. After a long moment of silence, Sakura looked up at him and offered a small smile, but the sadness hidden behind the gesture was enough to make his chest squeeze with guilt. "It's okay, I understand. It must be hard for you, being unable to hear anything besides my voice. You can stay on the floor, but you should at least grab some blankets from your- I mean, from the guest room. I may be able to reattach severed limbs, but my healing abilities are useless against the common cold."

There was a pause as the silence stretched between them uncomfortably. Kakashi knew that it would probably make more sense to grab blankets from the second bedroom, but the expression on Sakuras face lingered in his mind. She had done so much over the last two months to help make him feel comfortable without him having to ask once, yet he was hesitating to accept the only request she had made of him so far because he didn't want to potentially feel awkward. 

With a sigh, Kakashi relented and bit his thumb to summon his favorite ninken. Pakkun showed up with a pop and turned to ask Sakura what the situation was. Kakashi had tried summoning his ninken multiple times, hoping that the bond they shared would override the jutsu only to be proved horribly wrong. It had honestly been one of the worst parts of losing his hearing. He could maybe become accustomed to feeling the world around him through his other senses, and he knew that if this went on much longer he would have to learn sign language to communicate with other people. Those things were easy enough to handle, but not being able to hear his ninken had devastated him.

Kakashi listened idly to the explanation Sakura gave as he crawled his way onto the opposite couch corner from where the pink haired woman sat. He pulled the covers around himself and within moments felt the warmth of the comforter surround him.

Pakkun jumped onto the couch and slid underneath the heavy blanket to rest on the cushion between the two ninja, circling the same spot for a few moments before finally plopping down. Kakashi smiled, automatically reaching a hand out to scratch the pug softly behind his ears.

"So, the basic concept of this movie is that there's a woman hell bent on revenge who travels the country interrogating and murdering people as she goes. We should probably give her a background story, or at least a reason for her revenge so that it's easier to come up with our own plot."

"Someone stole her dog and she's trying to find them," Kakashi replied instantly, his hand that was scratching Pakkun pausing as he frowned at his own answer. Surely there were better reasons to go on a murdering rampage? Her family could have been massacred, her lover could have betrayed her, she could have been trying to find some kind of sacred treasure. Did he go with any of those theories? No, he went with someone stealing her dog.

Kakashi turned his eyes to glare at the lump under the blankets that was his little pug for making him unconsciously think of such a ridiculous answer, but before he had time to become actually annoyed, he heard a small snort come from the other end of the couch. His eyes darted up to look at Sakura, who had a hand over her mouth in a very meager attempt to hide her laughter. Kakashi tilted his head to the side curiosly, and apparently that was the funniest thing on the planet because suddenly Sakura burst out laughing, startling the small pug under the blankets as her head fell back in a fit of giggles. Kakashi just watched as she fell into hysterics, not noticing the way his lips had curled upwards in a smile as he was too busy watching the woman in front of him grip her sides through the blankets. After several unsuccesful attempts to calm herself, she had finally quieted down enough that only a few small snickers occasionally slipped through her lips. 

"Sure, let's go with that," Sakura grinned as she wiped away the tears that had started streaming down her face. She picked the remote up from the blankets and hit the play button before curling herself further into the comforter, everything but her head hidden beneath the depths of fabric.

Throughout the duration of the movie, Kakashi found himself glancing over at Sakura more than he was willing to admit to himself. Her eyes were bright and playful as she shouted random lines in place of whatever the main character was actually saying. The joy was radiating off of her in waves so strong that even Kakashi felt himself being pulled in. He voiced his lines with more enthusiasm than he knew was possible, sometimes saying something completely ridiculous just so that he could glance to his side and watch as Sakura burst out laughing again. The smile remained on his lips as they went through scene after scene, breaking into a full blown grin when a scene played out where the main character had actually grabbed a dog and held it in her arms during a fight scene. (Sakura had just shouted "This is not my dog! This dog is too ugly to be my dog!" while giggling.) 

The dialogue began to slow down as the movie started to reach the ending. Kakashi watched as the main character walked through a field of wild flowers, her eyes gazing up at the night sky with tears falling down her cheeks and a smile on her lips. He turned his head to glance at Sakura again, his breath catching in his throat as he realized that her green eyes had been fixed on him. She offered him a smile that seemed far too shy for the normally brash woman, her hand squeezing his hand that had been resting on Pakkun under the covers. Faintly, he became aware of the fact that at some point during the movie her hand had come to rest on top of his and she had never moved it away. Kakashi felt the smallest of frowns tug at his lips as his eyes searched hers, but she was unreadable. At least, that's what he was going to tell himself.

Kakashi felt the fluttering in his stomach return as he found himself getting lost until he couldn't see anything but her jade orbs and the upward tilt of her pink lips. He was falling endlessly, and he was scared. Scared of his own feelings, and scared of hers. He found himself unable to figure out the meaning hidden in her eyes and he didn't know if he wanted to. 

He wasn't sure how he ended up in bed that night, wasn't sure if they had spoken again before eventually retiring to their own rooms. He was in a daze, his mind filled with nothing but the way she had smiled at him as they sat together, her eyes fixed on his in a way that was almost demure but still with a hint of her stubborn determination hidden beneath it all. 

Kakashi was teetering on the edge of a cliff, and he knew that he had to make a choice. He could jump back and save both of them, or let himself fall and see where he landed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The romance novel that Kakashi is reading near the beginning of this chapter is actually an excerpt from a fanfic by the amazing, beautiful, and talented Cosipotente. I've known her for almost a decade and she is one of my favorite people to ever exist, and she's the only reason I never really gave up on writing. Thank you for letting me use a bit of your amazing story, bb._
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> _I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. There will be two more parts after this, if everything goes as planned._


	2. Chapter 2

_"WHAT?! Don't be stupid, Hatake."_

Kakashi sighed as he read the paper Shizune was holding up, shifting his eyes back over to Tsunade to see that she was clearly angry. He had tested out a few theories that had been rolling around his mind for a while, waited for a day when Sakura went in for a double shift at the hospital, and then run to the Hokage office without a second thought. No one was supposed to know about his condition outside of a handful of people, so naturally he had come in through the window instead of using the main door.

"With all due respect, I'm not being stupid. It's been more than two months and my hearing has shown no signs of coming back or improving. There's no telling how long it will take for it to fix itself, or if it ever will, and I don't want to bother Sakura any longer than I already have. At this point, it would be more beneficial for me to start trying to learn how to live on my own without my hearing than it would to be watched over all the time until it returns."

Tsunade opened her mouth as if she was about to yell at him before stopping herself. A frown tugged on her lips as she turned to Shizune, relaying a message for her to show him. Kakashi was eternally grateful for this; Tsunade had horrible handwriting and he may have never been able to understand what she was trying to communicate if she'd been the one writing the messages.

_"Sakura volunteered to let you stay with her as long as it was necessary, even if it took years. Her words, not mine."_

Kakashi frowned at that. He knew that in all likeliness, Sakura was probably feeling guilty for asking to bring him along with her on the mission that had caused everything. It'd had a high probability of just being another genjutsu, and even without the sharingan he was one of the best in the village at dispelling them along with Sakura, which was why she had specifically requested him. She'd most likely offered such a long amount of time because she felt responsible for his current condition, even though a small voice in the back of his mind wanted it to be for other reasons. 

His frown deepened at that last train of thought, and he quickly reminded himself of why he was here to begin with.

"There are... other reasons that I do not want to go into. Sakura is a young woman with her whole life ahead of her. I'm aware that a lot of her friends are married now, and some are even trying for children. I don't want her to be unable to find someone because there's an old man at her apartment all the time. Surely you understand and want the same for her?"

Tsunade and Shizune shared a knowing look, and Kakashi could have sworn that they smiled at each other meaningfully before beginning to discuss something. 

_"How will you take care of yourself?"_

"I tested out a few theories recently and discovered that my shadow clone is still able to hear things," Kakashi started, knowing that he had captured their attention by the way Tsunade's eyebrow quirked upwards and Shizune's eyes widened ever so slightly. "While I am at home and awake, I'll have one of my ninken out to alert me of anything that may require my clone's hearing. I will only keep my clone out while I sleep to save on chakra, unless I need him to run errands or go out and get food. In the meantime, I'll start teaching myself sign language."

Kakashi watched as Tsunade frowned, a thoughtful expression taking over her features. He knew that his plan was sound and that they would be unable to argue against it, no matter how much they wanted to have a medic with him at all times. When he saw Tsunade sigh and start relaying information to Shizune, he knew he had won.

Or at least he thought he had, until he realized that Shizune was writing down a lot more than he expected. He was surprised when she handed the paper over to him to read, but quickly understood when he realized that it was completely covered in small writing.

_"Sakura will be checking up on you every day, and will be allowed to stay for as long as she wants. If you ask her to leave, she is allowed to deny the request. She will be checking your chakra levels to make sure you're not overusing your clone, and if you start running low enough to be considered risky, you will return to her apartment. If you argue with her because you think she is staying over for too long, you will also end up back at her apartment. This time, your stay there will last until she deems you fit to live alone again, even if that day never comes."_

Kakashi felt his mouth gape open as he stared at the words and read them over twice. The fact that arguing over her staying longer than necessary would cause him to lose his freedom seemed especially superfluous. He opened his mouth to ask about why there were so many conditions, but as he looked up he saw that Tsunade had her finger pointed to the paper and was circling it as if telling him to turn it over. He did just that and let out an exasperated sigh at the words written on the back of the paper.

_"Because I said so."_

There was nothing he could really say to argue that against his Hokage, so Kakashi just nodded his head and muttered that he understood and accepted the conditions. He handed the paper back to Shizune before walking toward the window, ignoring the way that both of the women seemed to be smirking to themselves. Kakashi opened the thick window pane and took a moment to feel the breeze on the bits of his face that were exposed before jumping and setting out across the rooftops.

He would have to start packing his stuff the moment he returned to Sakura's apartment so that he could be ready to leave after she came home for the night. He knew that she would be disappointed and would probably ask him to stay at least one more night, but if he wanted to keep their relationship from warping any more than it already had, even one more night was dangerous. He didn't want to leave her at all, which was exactly why he had to do it sooner rather than later.

*****

Kakashi couldn't help but wonder exactly how strong Sakura actually was without enhancing her strength with chakra, just as he'd been doing all week. The back of his neck still ached from when she'd smacked him upside the back of his head after he'd revealed that he was leaving her apartment. He'd barely had enough time to stop her from hitting him again before he tried to calmly explain why he'd made the deal with Tsunade.

At first she had been hurt, far more than he'd expected, but had quickly tried to cover it up with understanding when he'd explained that he needed some semblance of a normal life. He couldn't rely on her forever, and had to start accepting the fact that maybe his hearing wouldn't return. She'd looked like she was about to say something, but instead ducked her head and said that she understood. 

It'd been a week since Kakashi had returned to his apartment, and he found himself missing Sakura more than he thought he would. He threw himself into learning sign language and reading the books he'd started at her place, but that didn't stop him from missing her presence any time he wasn't keeping his mind focused on something else. When he woke up, the first thing he thought of was how he missed waking up surrounded by her scent. When he ate meals alone, he would find himself making enough tea for both of them without noticing until it was too late. Then there were moments like these, where he'd take a break from studying and reading to watch the streets of Konoha from his living room window. He knew that subconsciously he was always looking out for a dash of pink, always searching for her, and was always disappointed when the pink turned out to be some child's clothing or something else that was distinctly not Sakura.

At this point, he knew that there was no point in denying his feelings for Sakura. He'd come to accept them for what they were, but if anyone could quash their own emotions for the sake of someone else's happiness, it was him. He had decided that he would never let her know how he felt, would never allow himself to even give the feelings a proper name, because he would never let himself ruin their newly strengthened friendship. He would watch from the sidelines as she moved on with her life, and he knew that she would blossom once she had let him go, just as she had when she'd accepted Tsunade as her teacher in his place. Her life was meant to be spent separately from him, and he would never do anything to jeopardize her happiness.

Suddenly, he noticed a flash of pink on the street below him and felt his eyes shift to look at it immediately. It was a woman who looked to be about his age with mousey brown hair and dark green eyes, holding a light pink purse that was almost an exact replica of the color of Sakura's hair. He almost looked away, but then his eyes caught the man she was clinging onto desperately, and he felt something inside of him stir as he recognized him as one of Sakura's exes.

There was a period of time after the war where Sakura had tried dating, before deciding that she was too busy at the hospital and with missions; he knew that she had temporarily given up on finding someone, but he couldn't blame her. 

The first guy had been a notorious playboy in the civilian district and when Sakura had found out, she'd nearly hospitalized the guy. Luckily for her, she'd found him outside of Kakashi's apartment, and he'd arrived just in time to keep her from shattering every bone in the man's body. 

The second guy, however, had broken her. It had taken Kakashi and all of her friends _months_ to get her to laugh again, and he knew that the guy standing below him on the street right now had been the reason. Kakashi glared at the wedding band on the man's left hand before shifting his eyes to the inky black hair covering the back of his head. His fingers tightened their grip on the pebble he'd been playing with idly as he remembered the night Sakura had found out that Akahito was married.

 

_The streets were silent as the rain poured down, basking everything in an eerie glow. Kakashi wandered through the resturant and bar district, his feet slapping the pavement with a wet slap every with every step he took. The bars had yet to close down, and the sounds of roudy ninja could be heard from almost a mile away._

_Kakashi rounded the corner, his eyes catching sight of a pink blob in the middle of the road. He was confused at first but as he stepped closer, he realized that the pink blob was a human. Not just any human, either, but Sakura. Suddenly, his feet had carried him to where she crouched on the ground in a puddle, her arms covering the back of her head as if it would protect her from the rain. He placed his hand on her shoulder, his frown deepening when he realized how cold she was. She didn't respond to his touch and instead stayed where she was, silent and shivering._

_"Sakura?"_

_Her head whipped around abruptly, the movement appearing too fast for her to handle at the moment as she started to fall backward into the puddle she had taken residence in. With a swift motion, he grabbed her and pulled her back to her previous position, his frown deepening as he finally smelled the alcohol. He took in her dilated pupils, the flush on her cheeks and the way she seemed barely coherent, and realized belatedly that she was drunk. Sakura never got drunk. Tsunade had taught her better, had taught her to metabolize the alcohol in her body before it had a chance to affect her, yet here she was crouched in a puddle at night in the middle of a rain storm, more drunk than he had ever seen her before._

_"Sakura, what are you doing?" Kakashi asked cautiously as he kept her steady even as she threatened to tip backward again._

_"Mmm, Kakashi? Why are you here?" Sakura asked, a frown on her lips as she gazed upward, not really looking_ at _him, but instead in his direction._

_Kakashi thought about his options, and ruled out asking her more questions about what she was doing. If there was anything he had learned over the years, it was that you should never ask a drunk person too many questions if you actually wanted a proper answer._

_"I'm here to take you home," He replied. It was apparently the wrong thing to say though, because suddenly Sakura burst into tears and lowered her head again as if trying to hide from the world. He ran through his options again before finally deciding that he had no choice but to take her back to his place. He couldn't leave her in the middle of the street drunk in the rain, and he told her as much._

_"Kakashi I can't do thaaaat," Sakura whined, pouting her lips childishly. "I have a boooyfriend."_

_"You're only going to sleep," Kakashi replied, grabbing her by the arms and pulling her up to stand on her feet. He noticed that she seemed confused, as if she hadn't quite registered the fact that she was standing._

_Without saying another word, Kakashi wrapped her small arm around his waist and began leading her in the direction of his apartment. If she had burst into tears at the thought of going home, then there was probably something there that she didn't want to deal with. She was drunk enough that she would likely just pass out for the night, so he didn't think much on his decision as he slowly led her away from the bar district._

_When they reached his apartment, Kakashi threw the door open and took Sakura to the living room, letting her sit on the couch as he went to get her some aspirin and water. He handed the water to her and urged her to take the medicine before taking her shoes and coat off. Her boots were placed by the entrance with his, and he hung her coat to dry behind the front door. Kakashi returned to the living room, only to see her curled into a ball on his couch crying harder than she had been earlier._

_He hesitated. They had never really been that close before, but after the war they'd become something akin to friends, especially since he'd stopped her from beating up some civilian in front of his apartment. He watched for a few moments as she hugged a couch pillow and sobbed before he sighed and sat down beside her, lifting one arm as if to let her know that if she wanted to she could cry on his shoulder. She flung herself at him without a second thought at a speed that should have been impossible for someone as inebriated as she was._

_Kakashi didn't know how long they stayed there, with her crying on his chest and him just holding her and occasionally rubbing small circles on her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. After a while, she started lurching uncomfortably as if she was going to throw up, and he managed to quickly run them into his bathroom and had her head above the bowl of his toilet while holding her hair back just in time to escape the potential disaster._

_After she had gotten rid of everything in her stomach, she collapsed onto the cold tile of his floor and started shaking as her sobs returned, much less violent this time. Kakashi stayed by her side, rubbing her back gently and letting her cry until she felt better._

_"I lied earlier. I'm sorry," Sakura whispered, her throat hoarse as she choked out her words._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I don't have a boyfriend. Not anymore," Sakura replied, hanging her head low._

_Kakashi frowned as he thought back to earlier that day, when he had seen Sakura with a man he'd come to know as Akahito walking the streets below his apartment together. Sakura had seemed so happy, walking with the black haired man with their fingers linked together tightly. Her smile had been so bright, so full of life as if she had never been happier._

_"Thank you, Kakashi," Sakura said quietly, causing Kakashi's eyes to glance down at the woman in front of him again. Her eyes that had been so cheerful just hours ago were now filled with nothing but sadness, as if a piece of her had broken. She offered him a small, weary smile, and he found the sharp contrast to her earlier smile so jarring that the breath left his lungs. He reached forward without really thinking about it, smoothing down her hair and feeling his chest tighten at the way her already shaky smile trembled around the edges as tears began streaming down her cheeks again. It was then that Kakashi vowed to watch over her, the way he should have watched over her when she was still his student. He may have ignored her back then in favor of his two male students, but he would make up for it now by making sure no one else could hurt her this badly ever again._

 

Kakashi's attention was snatched away from his memories when he felt the pebble he'd been clutching leave his fingers. He blinked with surprise for a moment before looking down to the street, realizing that he had thrown the pebble at the back of Akahito's head with the precision of an elite ninja. He watched as the man held the back of his head and looked around angrily for the person who had thrown something at him. For a moment, Kakashi debated hiding behind his wall or looking away to feign innocence, but then he remembered the broken smile Sakura had worn that night. He remembered the months it had taken to get her to laugh again, remembered how she had been an empty shell of herself for so long after she'd discovered that he was married, and he felt his blood heat up as he instead stared directly at where Akahito stood. 

When Sakura's ex finally looked up to where Kakashi stood, his face visibly paled. Kakashi felt a small tinge of pride at this, glad for once that his reputation made him well known even among the civilians. With a small smirk of his lips underneath his mask, he lifted a hand and waved at the man who was staring at him as if caught under a genjutsu. Kakashi was unable to fight the chuckle that rose in his chest at the way the man immediately turned around and walked away briskly. The woman who had been clinging to Akahito glanced up at Kakashi, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion before scurrying off to follow her companion. 

Kakashi knew that his satisfaction was, at the very best, petty. He also knew that making a civilian run off in fear wasn't exactly something to be proud of, but that didn't stop the upward tilt of his lips. He would tell himself that it was for Sakura's sake, to make sure Akahito never approached her again, but deep down he knew that he just wanted to get revenge of some sort, no matter how small, on the man who had hurt the woman he'd come to care for so much.

*****

Another month managed to pass uneventfully, with his hearing still showing no hint of returning. Kakashi had picked up sign language a lot faster than expected and was as close to fluent as he was going to get without anyone else to practice with. He'd finished reading both of the series of books he'd started at Sakura's apartment for the second time just a few days ago, and even though he'd begun training with his ninken every day for hours as well, he was still so unbelievably bored.

At first, Kakashi had been glad to be back in his apartment finally. He'd found that he could breathe a lot easier when he was surrounded by his own familiar smells, since it was easier to pretend that he wasn't affected by Sakura when he didn't have to pretend all the time. 

Recently though, his feelings had started showing sometimes against his will. He often found himself watching her for just a moment too long, letting his touches linger any time they made any kind of contact, and saying the most ridiculous things that he could think of during their movies to make her laugh. He loved those moments, where her face was illuminated by the television screen as her entire body emanated the joy he had fought so hard to see again. Her smile would appear to be endless as her eyes shined with bliss, and more often than not he would find himself smiling back contentedly. Her happiness had become so important to him ever since that one night over a year ago. Sometimes it felt like seeing her smile had become something he needed to survive.

Kakashi sighed, breaking from his thoughts as he summoned his clone to keep an eye on the apartment before heading off to his small bathroom, deciding that he'd waited long enough in the day to get a shower. 

Once inside the bathroom, he turned the water on and opened a new bottle of shampoo while he waited for the water to heat. Moments later he stepped inside and stood under the hot spray, letting his thoughts drift away as he scrubbed the new smell into his scalp. He felt the world melt away as the hot spray on the back of his neck soothed his body, his earlier thoughts drifting away into nothingness.

Once the water began to run cold, Kakashi turned off the spray and stepped onto the soft bath mat that had been in the apartment as long as he had lived there. He took one of his towels and dried his body off lazily before wrapping it around his hips, staring into the mirror above the sink as he debated whether or not he should shave. His stubble had grown out enough to become scratchy, but not long enough that it would poke through his mask. He shrugged to himself as he decided there was really no need to shave and grabbed a second towel, drying off his hair and face as he stepped out of the bathroom.

He was about to throw the towel resting against the lower half of his face into the hamper when he heard a small squeak from somewhere to his right. He froze in his tracks and glanced to the side, only to see Sakura standing by the entrance to his kitchen staring at him with wide eyes. One hand was by her side holding a bag with what looked like carry out food while the other was raised to her face in an attempt to cover her lips which were gaping open slightly. He didn't pay attention to the blush rushing over her cheeks or the way her eyes lingered on his body too long to be considered innocent. His eyes were instead focused on the kitchen, where his clone stood with his back to the stove, apparently so busy preparing tea for her that he hadn't bothered to disappear and warn him of her presence. 

"I'll... be back in a moment," Kakashi said, keeping his voice as calm as he possibly could despite his heart fluttering wildly in his chest as he shuffled to his bedroom and shut the door behind him. If he had reacted even a second slower to her, or if she hadn't made a sound at all, he would have dropped the towel from his face and she would have finally seen everything he'd been hiding for so long. At least, he would tell himself that was the reason for his heartbeat speeding up this much. It most definitely wasn't the way her eyes had devoured him, it wasn't the way she had licked her lips unconsciously as if her mouth had gone dry, and it _absolutely_ was not the way her eyes had darted up to lock into his with a mixture of surprise and excitement. 

Kakashi did everything he could to calm down as he finished drying himself off. He forced any thoughts of Sakura's expressions out of his mind while he found some clothing to wear, taking almost no time at all to throw the long sleeved shirt on over his sleeveless shirt with the attached mask along with a random pair of underwear and a pair of sweatpants. He decided to forego socks before taking a deep breath and opening his bedroom door, peering out cautiously. Sakura was nowhere to be seen and he found himself breathing a sigh of relief before the sound of her laughter caught his ear from his living area. 

Kakashi let his feet guide him to the living area where Sakura was sitting on his hardwood floor, back pressed against his couch. She was smiling gently as she drank some of the tea his clone had prepared, listening intently to some story his other self was telling her about when he'd first met his ninken. Her eyes shifted over to him in surprise when his clone suddenly popped and disappeared, but it only took her a moment to recover before her smile was directed at him once more.

"Took you long enough," Sakura said, a playful lilt to her voice as she eyed him up and down almost too quickly for him to notice.

"I couldn't find anything that matched," Kakashi replied easily as he glanced down at his clothing with fake disdain. Sakura let out a small giggle as she nodded, pretending that she understood how difficult it must have been for him despite the fact that they both knew that all of his clothing basically looked exactly the same. Kakashi smiled at her just a moment too long before heading into the small kitchen to prepare the tea they would be drinking after the movie.

"How long did you have your clone out today?" Sakura asked as she walked into the kitchen, leaning herself against the counter as she sipped from her cup. 

"Between sleeping, running errands, and watching the place while I showered... Probably about six hours," Kakashi replied, shrugging his shoulders at the disapproving look he knew she would shoot him. He made sure to remain still as he felt her hand slip under his shirt, her chakra easing into him as she checked his own chakra levels. He knew that he was starting to run a little bit low after an entire month of using a shadow clone every day for hours at a time, but there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it if he wanted to keep even a small shred of freedom.

"You're doing well considering the amount of strain your body must be under constantly, but you really need at least one full nights sleep without a clone to recover your chakra levels," Sakura murmured, her eyebrows knit together in thought. "I know you're not going to come back to my apartment for just one night, and there's no way you would be able to sleep comfortably without having someone else around... So I guess that means I'll be staying here tonight."

Kakashi felt his eyes widen just enough to be noticeable as he turned to watch Sakura. She pulled her hand out from under his shirt and took a sip of tea with a small smile tugging at the edge of her lips.

"That isn't really necessary, is it?"

"No, it's definitely necessary," Sakura replied easily with a small shrug of her shoulders. "Your chakra levels are a lot lower than you probably realize, and I'm not sure how many nights you'll be able to last with your clone out before you're unable to make one. I only have to be at the hospital tomorrow for a meeting in the evening, so I'll be able to stay here until you wake up. You could probably last a few more days, but I'm working mornings every day for the next week. This is the only option, unless you would rather have Tsunade or Shizune sleep over instead."

Kakashi felt his lips automatically curl into a look of disgust as he tried to imagine how horrible it would be for either of them to sleep in his apartment instead. If Tsunade stayed over the place would undoubtedly reek of sake, and he would probably lose a few pieces of furniture when she'd inevitably get angry at him for not being able to hear her or read her handwriting. If Shizune stayed over she would probably only rest after reorganizing and cleaning the entire apartment, which meant that he would never know where any of his stuff was again. Sakura was definitely the most comfortable option, especially considering that they could actually talk to each other, but she was also the most dangerous. 

"Now that it's been decided that I'm staying tonight, I'll go pick out a movie to watch after we eat," Sakura grinned triumphantly before placing her tea cup on the counter and turning on her heel. Kakashi watched the way her hips seemed to sway intentionally before shaking his head and resuming his task of measuring out the tea they would need later, rinsing out her cup as well while he was at it. He briefly thought about telling her that he would almost rather have Tsunade or Shizune stay over instead, but knew that saying it would draw too much suspicion. He would just have to deal with it for one night.

"You have a lot of new books," Sakura mused as she stood at his bookshelf, her body bent over to read the titles better. Kakashi kept his eyes firmly planted on anything but her hips as he walked back into the living area, placing two pair of chopsticks on the coffee table before sitting down on the floor. "Wait, what is this?! Why do you have these?"

Kakashi glanced up to see Sakura holding one of the books from the series he'd started at her place. He chuckled at her astonished expression, taking note of the light blush that had started flushing over her cheeks. "I wanted to know how it ended. Don't worry, I didn't steal your copies. I had my clone buy the entire series after I left your apartment."

"But there are no boobs!" Sakura squeaked, the embarrassment she obviously felt causing the blush to spread all the way to her ears. 

"I can appreciate good literature even if there are no boobs, Sakura," Kakashi smirked, watching her face with feigned disinterest to hide how much he was enjoying her reactions. "A romance between men can be just as interesting to read as a romance between a man and a woman, and the actual story is rather fascinating. Palm readings, tea leaves, tarot cards; it's all very compelling." 

Sakura eyed Kakashi suspiciously for a long moment before sighing, seeming to give up on understanding him as she ran a hand through her hair. She turned her back to him once again as she placed the book back where she had gotten it from. She was pretending to be unaffected, but the redness of her ears and slight tremor in her hands was more than enough to give her away.

Kakashi smiled, unable to stop himself from teasing her just a little bit more. "My favorite character is probably the siren, Jonghyun. What about you Sakura? Who's your favorite?"

Kakashi watched as Sakura's shoulders visibly tensed. Her hand stopped moving just long enough for him to know that she'd heard his question, but she didn't reply. Her hand resumed its path as she scanned the titles of the DVDs on the shelf above the books, her body no longer bent over slightly to show off her shapely backside, which Kakashi was both relieved and annoyed at. 

"Taemin," Sakura replied shortly as she spun around to face him, the tone of her voice effectively ending the conversation. Kakashi chuckled to himself as he watched her insert a DVD into the player and grab the remote before sitting beside him on the floor. She didn't start the DVD yet; it had become tradition for them to eat their food first before trying to play out their own dialogue after one incident where he'd made her laugh and she'd almost choked on a noodle.

Sakura grabbed one of the containers from the bag and handed it to Kakashi before digging out her own food and moving the bag out of the way so they had more room on the table. Kakashi smiled as he realized that she had gotten him one of his favorite dishes - salt-broiled saury with rice - but his smile quickly dissipated once he realized that she'd gotten the same thing for herself. She had always made a point of pretending to gag any time he'd eaten it in front of her in the past.

Kakashi quietly ate his saury while he watched Sakura out of the corner of his eyes to judge her reaction to the food she'd hated for as many years as he'd known her. She seemed unaffected as she chewed her food easily, quirking an eyebrow in his direction as she noticed him staring. Kakashi looked pointedly at the meal she was currently eating, knowing that she would understand what he was thinking.

"My taste buds have just been strange recently, and this meal is honestly a lot healthier than anything I usually eat so I figured I would give it a try," Sakura said, shrugging her shoulders as if there was nothing suspicious about that at all.

They ate the rest of their meal in silence as Kakashi wondered once again if maybe she really had been hit with the same jutsu that had caused him to lose his hearing. If she had lost her sense of smell like he'd suspected before, it would affect her sense of taste as well. It would explain why she hadn't been able to smell the spicy food or taste it until the spice had started burning, and it would explain why she all of a sudden could handle the smell and taste of the salt-broiled saury she always hated so much. She had denied being hit with the jutsu, but something wasn't adding up.

Once they had finished eating, Sakura started cleaning up their trash while Kakashi walked into the kitchen to make the pot of tea he'd begun preparing earlier for them to drink during the movie - another tradition that had developed in the last month. It unnerved him that even after going through the effort to leave her apartment, they still managed to fall into their routines so easily. It was almost worse, he thought, to have her so comfortable in his apartment. 

His apartment had never felt like home before, but had started to recently when traces of her had started showing up all over. The dishes and cups that she'd brought over so she would have something to use, the dust that was no longer collected on top of his DVD collection, her smell that lingered long after she had disappeared and had begun to mix into his scent easily. All of these things stirred something within him that made him feel as if she belonged there with him, as if she should be his. He knew that it was ridiculous because she was so much younger and his former student, and everything else that he kept reminding himself of, but he couldn't stop the feeling that rose in his chest every time she smiled for him. It was getting harder and harder to stop his feelings from taking over, and he knew that he had to find a way to convince Tsunade that he could live on his own without daily visits from Sakura before he said or did something that showed the feelings bubbling beneath the surface before it was too late.

Kakashi finished pouring the hot water into their tea pot and returned to the living area, pot of tea in one hand and two cups stacked in the other. He plopped down onto his usual spot on the floor and waited for Sakura to finish up in the bathroom. His eyes drifted to the ceiling as he leaned back on both of his arms, letting his thoughts wander until he felt the familiar vibration of Sakuras footsteps through his fingertips. Kakashi turned his head to offer her a smile, not failing to notice the way she paused at the end of the hallway. Her eyebrows were knit together, her teeth nibbling on her lower lip in what seemed to be nervousness. Kakashi had a brief moment to wonder why she seemed to be hesitating before she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, obviously having come to a decision about something.

Sakura strode over to where he sat and settled down beside him close enough that her arm brushed against his when she reached out to grab one of the cups. Kakashi frowned as he watched her pour herself some tea, catching the way her fingers shook.

When Sakura leaned back against the couch with her cup of tea resting in her hands, her arm brushed against his once again. Only this time, she didn't move away. Kakashi felt his frown deepen, taking in the way her body had yet to relax and the way her pupils were slightly more dilated than normal. She was afraid of something. 

Kakashi scooted to the side a little bit so that their arms were no longer touching, watching the way Sakuras eyes widened slightly before glancing over at him. They locked eyes, and Kakashi watched as the hurt flashed across her features so quickly he thought he may have imagined it. 

Sakura observed him for a moment longer before letting a nervous smile play across her lips so suddenly that it caught Kakashi off guard. Before he knew what was happening (it was because she was fast, _not_ because he was too busy trying not to stare at her lips) she had reached over and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back to his original spot on the floor.

"Don't make my efforts go to waste," Sakura whispered, a slight tremble to her voice. Kakashi stared at her, his mouth gaping open slightly as his mind whipped through so many questions that it made his head hurt. Before he had a chance to ask any of them though, Sakura had picked up the remote and hit play after making sure the volume was all the way down. "When was the last time you saw this movie?"

"Never."

"Hmm, it says it's about rival factions. Lots of fighting and blood and stuff," Sakura murmured as she studied the DVD box in her hands, flipping it over to the cover. "Let's just kind of go with it without giving more of a back story and see what happens."

Kakashi nodded his head in agreement before grabbing his cup of tea, leaning back against the sofa as the opening scene played out. The questions still running through his mind were quickly drowned out by the images flashing in front of him. 

The opening scene began to play out with the female lead running through a bamboo forest. She was covered in blood and had at least twenty people following her, flying through the trees as if she was using chakra until she suddenly stopped when she realized that she was surrounded on all sides.

Sakura took up her voice, screaming as the actress picked up a piece of fallen bamboo from the forest floor and charged at the men in front of her. They lunged with their swords and she managed to avoid every attack, sweeping the bamboo stalk with precision to knock them back. After half of the men had been thoroughly beaten, the rest of them retreated to the edge of the forest where a man, presumably the leader based on the smug look on his face, had been overlooking the battle. After a moment the group of men escaped, leaving the woman alone in the middle of the bamboo forest, exhausted.

The rest of the movie progressed as the female lead joined up with her own group of fighters, leading them into more bloody battles where more often than not she found herself fighting against the male lead. Kakashi noticed a romance brewing between them but tried his hardest to keep the story funny to avoid any potential awkwardness. He was already acutely aware of the place on his shoulder which Sakura still hadn't moved away from.

The movie began nearing it's end, and the two leads found themselves sneaking out of their respective compounds in the middle of the night to meet each other. Kakashi assumed that they were going to be trying to make some kind of peace treaty, but also knew that his character had other ideas based on the dagger he made a point of sharpening before leaving.

The female lead arrived at the clearing in the bamboo forest first, her body still as she cautiously looked around. Then the male lead snuck up behind her and shoved the dagger against her throat, his hand shaking as he kept it from pressing deeply. She didn't react at all and instead smiled when she noticed his hesitation. 

"I know how you feel about me," Sakura whispered as her character spoke. Kakashi felt his breath catch in his throat at the words she chose to say. He knew that she was just playing as her character right now, but the tone in her voice pierced him in a way that he hadn't expected. He kept his eyes focused on the TV until the camera panned to his character.

"What are you talking about?"

"We could be great together, if only you would let us."

Kakashi felt his body tense as he watched the screen, his heart beating just a little bit faster when he realized what was about to play out. His character pulled the dagger from the female leads throat and turned her around slowly. He let the blade fall to the ground, reaching up to caress her cheek as he watched her closely. Then he was leaning forward, his fingers tangling into the back of her hair as they kissed. 

He tried to watch the screen, he really did, but his shoulder was burning where it was touching Sakura's. Kakashi took a deep breath and shifted his gaze to the side, instantly finding his eyes captured by Sakura's as she stared at him. There was a warm smile playing on her lips despite the hesitation in her eyes, covering up an underlying emotion that he had never seen there before. 

No, he _had_ seen it before, he had just never acknowledged it. He'd seen it when their hands had rested together on Pakkun on their first movie night, and when he'd walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel earlier that day. He'd seen it plenty of times over the last month - the first time he made her tea without her having to ask, the one time he'd offered to give her a back massage after she'd worked a full 24 hours at the hospital, when she had walked into the apartment to see him laying on the floor asleep with a book on sign language resting on his chest. Each time, there had been a softness in her gaze that anyone else would have mistaken for romantic affection, but he had decided that it was just affection for her former teacher turned friend. Until this moment, he'd been completely sure it was just the type of affection one would show for a lonely old man, not too far off from pity. Now, he found himself questioning his decision, wondering if maybe, just maybe, there really had been another type of affection hidden in her gaze.

Maybe it was the fact that the room had grown darker as the sun set. Maybe it was the way her face was illuminated by the screen, or the scene playing out in the movie right then, or maybe it was his feelings bubbling up and screaming to be noticed. Whatever the reason, Kakashi lifted his arm from it's place on his lap, his hand rising to cup Sakura's cheek gently. He watched the way she inhaled sharply, the way her eyes fluttered closed for just a second, and leaned himself forward to press their foreheads together. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to gaze into her eyes as their lips connected, wanted to make her know every feeling that had been coursing through him for months. He wanted to convey this feeling that only continued to get stronger every time they were together; he wanted to make her his.

The weight of his desires hit him like a train, causing him to finally realize exactly what he'd been about to do. He had let himself get caught up in his feelings and assume impossible things, even though he knew very well that Sakura would never look at him romantically. With concentrated effort he pulled away and stood, walking over to the hallway toward the bathroom. He needed to get away from her before he did anything to mess things up permanently.

"You can sleep in my room tonight. I'll sleep in the living area on the floor," Kakashi spoke, keeping his voice calm as he turned to face Sakura who was still sitting on the floor, her eyes wide and seemingly stunned. He offered her as much of a smile as he could muster before telling her good night and walking into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and locking it.

Kakashi slid to the floor, leaning against the door and covering his face with his hands as he tried to steady his breathing and calm his heart. He was suddenly glad that he'd forgone socks today as he felt Sakura move around his apartment through the vibrations reaching his feet through the ceramic tile. She was upset with him, if her heavy steps were any indication. He knew that he had screwed up, but he just hoped that she would notice the fact that he'd stopped himself and appreciate that. 

Sakura moved through his apartment for a while before finally heading toward the hallway. Kakashi felt his breathing slow as she paused outside of the bathroom door for a long moment before finally moving toward his bedroom. She let the door to his room shut harder than necessary, and he knew that it was her way of letting him know that she was gone without having to talk to him. He waited a while longer until he heard her begin to snore before getting ready to sleep. He used the bathroom for its intended purpose and washed his hands, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror above the sink. He would hate the man he saw looking back at him right now.

Doing his best to keep quiet, Kakashi opened the bathroom door slowly and moved into the hallway. He shut the light off behind him before heading into the living area, frowning when he realized that Sakura had moved the coffee table to the side of the room to make space for him and had laid out one of the blankets from his closet along with a couch pillow in the newly open area. Kakashi wondered for a moment if maybe she wasn't that angry after all before quickly shaking that thought away, knowing that if anything she was probably too surprised to be angry yet. 

With a heavy sigh, Kakashi went about getting ready to try and sleep even though he knew it would be almost impossible with the state his mind was in. The couch pillow smelled too much like her and he could hear her light snores coming from his bedroom through the door. She was there, in the same apartment, in his _bed_ , and he had to force himself to do nothing about it.

Kakashi rolled onto his side and glared at the open DVD case on the table, trying to keep his mind focused on the piece of plastic to keep from thinking about other things. It didn't help. All he could think about was how much he wanted to go back there and pull her into his arms. He wanted to kiss her and make sure she knew how much he wanted her, how much he _craved_ her. He wanted to run his fingers along her sides until she shuddered beneath him, whisper rough promises against her ears before moving to caress her neck with his tongue. He wanted to taste every inch of her, to envelop her, to tangle their limbs together and fill her until she moaned his name. He wanted to make her scream underneath him, make her lose herself from the feeling of him thru- 

There was no way he was going to be able to sleep like this.

With a groan, Kakashi threw the blanket off of himself and strode into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of alcohol that he'd been saving for a special occasion. He wasn't sure, but he kind of assumed that preventing himself from going into his bedroom and ruining everything would be considered a special occasion.

He went through the booze quickly, not even bothering with a cup as he downed it straight from the bottle. It had been years since he'd had to drink in order to sleep, and he knew that he would regret it in the morning. He also knew that if he didn't sleep tonight, Sakura would find out because of his low chakra levels and would force herself into his apartment again, insisting as his medic that he needed to recover, and he didn't know if he would be able to handle another night like this. 

Kakashi was only able to relax enough to forget his thoughts once the bottle was almost halfway gone. It was becoming increasingly impossible to focus on any one thought for too long and before he knew it he had tilted over and let his head land on the pillow. Sakura's scent surrounded him once again, the way it had when he had stayed at her apartment, and he found himself smiling as he drifted off to sleep.

*****

"Kakashi, wake up. You need to eat something."

Kakashi tried to muster up the energy for an intelligent reply, he really did, but the only thing that escaped his vocal chords was a muffled groan. A frown tugged at the edges of his lips as Sakura let out an exaggerated groan of annoyance from what sounded like the other side of a door. 

The last thing Kakashi remembered was falling asleep on the floor in the living area after having probably a little bit too much to drink, no it was definitely too much to drink... Wait, why was Sakura talking to him through a door? Why did the couch pillow feel different, and why did it smell vaguely like feet?

It took him a few moments to open his eyes wearily, finding himself confused about why he was on the bathroom floor until he remembered waking up in the middle of the night to vomit. His mask was pooled around his neck thankfully and he was suddenly grateful for the fact that he'd somehow remembered to lock the door last night before choosing to sleep on the bath mat. If Sakura was going to see his face one day, he didn't want it to be while he was passed out from drinking with drool and who knew what else running down his chin. 

"Kakashi, if you don't wake up now, I'm going to open every blind and turn on every light in your apartment and then drag you into the brightest spot I can find."

This time, it only took Kakashi a few seconds to comprehend the threat being yelled at him from the hallway. He grunted a sound of acknowledgement before starting to slowly pull himself up from the floor, using the toilet seat as leverage on the way up. 

Kakashi finished up in the bathroom after brushing his teeth twice and slowly ambled his way into the hallway, pulling his mask up as he tried to remember why he had drank so much the night before. He knew that he'd had trouble sleeping, and knew that it had something to do with Sakura, but why? It shouldn't have been her presence in the other room, because he was used to that from when he was staying at her apartment. The pillow had smelled enough like her to be distracting, but her scent was everywhere and unlikely to affect him so much that he needed to drink, unless something had happened to make him hyper aware of her presence. 

As he made his way to the end of the hallway, he took a weary glance up into the kitchen, only to see Sakura standing there smiling at him warmly. He frowned as he felt the memories begin to slowly trickle in, and then he was hit with an image that made him stumble into the wall beside him. Right. He had almost tried to kiss her. A heavy weight settled on his chest, making it hard to breathe even as he stood leaning against the wall. He knew he was probably staring at Sakura as if she'd sprouted another head.

"Are you alright?" Sakura asked as her features morphed into an expression of genuine concern. Kakashi watched her for a moment, horrified at what he had almost done, and had to bite back the urge to run back into the bathroom and vomit again. He had almost ruined their friendship, and yet here she was being nice to him the next day as if nothing had happened. She had even cleaned up the mess he'd left in the living room the night before and had made the living area as dark as possible for him. She was always so kind to him, and he had almost betrayed her trust.

"I'm fine," Kakashi mumbled, rubbing at his throat as he realized how hard it was to speak. He shuffled into the living area and sat down on the floor, leaning his arms on the coffee table and resting his head on them. He was almost grateful for the hangover because it kept him from thinking too much about the night before. 

"Here, you'll be needing this. There's more in the fridge if you feel up to it later."

Kakashi looked up to see a cup of ginger tea on the table next to what looked like an aspirin and a bowl of miso soup. He wondered where she'd gotten the ingredients for miso soup, but decided he really didn't care that much as he downed the aspirin and took a small sip of tea. Kakashi nursed the ginger tea while Sakura moved around his kitchen for a bit before disappearing down the hallway without a word. He ignored the curiosity niggling the back of his mind and instead focused on trying to keep his tea down.

By the time Kakashi felt well enough to have some of the miso soup, Sakura had reappeared from the hallway. Her hair was wet from a shower and she was wearing new clothes, making him realize belatedly that she must have left the apartment earlier to get the ingredients for the soup and also get a change of clothes from her place. He couldn't imagine why she would get a change of clothes if she was planning on leaving when he woke up, which meant that she was planning on staying with him until she had to leave for her meeting. 

He was confused. By all accounts Sakura should have been trying to get away from him as fast as possible considering what he'd almost done, but instead she was comfortable around him as if nothing had happened. Maybe he hadn't almost ruined everything and had instead dreamt it up. Considering how much he'd had to drink the night before, he supposed it wouldn't be impossible.

"I thought you smelled different yesterday. I didn't expect that you'd changed your shampoo," Sakura hummed, her voice low as she picked up a book from Kakashi's collection and flopped onto the couch. She propped herself up on one arm and offered him a small smile before cracking the book open in one of the few spaces of light in the room. 

Kakashi knew he should have thought about her statement more, but the throbbing in his head hadn't subsided enough for deep thoughts just yet. He would think about it later. Possibly. Even the thought of thinking later hurt, so he decided to stop and just focus on keeping his soup down.

He spent most of the day drifting in and out of sleep, occasionally attempting to read a book until it started hurting his head too much. Sakura was quiet for the most part, spending her day on the couch beside him, reading and humming softly to herself. She occasionally stopped to ask him how he was doing, but for the most part she spent her time peacefully reading and making sure he stayed hydrated.

Eventually, night fell and Sakura left for her meeting, leaving the apartment somehow even more quiet than it had been all day. Kakashi knew he should be grateful for the silence, given how much his head was still pounding in his skull, but he found it almost impossible to relax. His body was wound far too tight with the tension he'd been feeling all day.

With a sigh, he forced himself to focus just long enough to summon Bull before he headed to bed. He knew that he should summon a shadow clone, but he didn't know if he would be able to handle the information he would receive all at once when it disappeared, and he trusted Bull to protect him and get his attention if it was needed. 

As he fell into bed, Sakura's smell surrounded fully once again. He fell asleep almost immediately.

*****

_The moon emitted a soft glow over the field of wild flowers, making everything before him sparkle._

_Kakashi sat with his back pressed against a tree, humming softly as a wind blew across his face. He didn't know the song he was humming, but he recognized it from somewhere still._

_There was a burst of soft laughter from his left. Kakashi glanced over, only to see Sakura now sitting beside him. She smiled at him and tilted her head to the side, humming the same song as him even though her mouth never moved once._

_"Kakashi," She giggled, running her hand through his hair. Her fingers were so gentle, her touch so light._

_Her head hit his lap softly, eyes gazing up at him with a tender expression of contentment. Kakashi watched her, feeling the smile pull at his lips and realizing that there was no tug of his mask. He reached down and cupped her cheek, his expression softening at the way her eyes fluttered closed. The smile remained on her lips as she shifted until she was sitting beside him again, her forehead resting against his gently._

_"Kakashi," She whispered as she leaned forward, nuzzling their noses together. Kakashi felt his breath catch as he watched the beautiful woman in front of him, her hair glowing softly in the moonlight._

_She whispered his name again, but this time her voice sounded distorted, as if she wasn't truly a part of this world. Kakashi felt his heart drop as he watched her fade away with a sudden gust of wind, leaving the beautiful field of flowers seeming barren and cold._

_He lifted his hands to his face and shut his eyes, his mind and heart screaming for her to return to him._

 

"Kakashi, wake up."

Kakashi felt a pull on his consciousness as he was tugged from his dream, only to find Sakura standing above him. It took him longer than he wanted to admit to realize that he had been dreaming and that the woman in front of him was real. The clock on the wall read 3 o'clock and from the darkness through the window, he could only guess that it was the middle of the night. With a groan he let his eyes slide closed again, burying the lower half of his face further into the blankets.

"I came to check up on you," Sakura said quietly, the concern etched into her voice as she undoubtedly studied him. 

"I'm alright Sakura. You didn't need to come by again."

"I'd still like to check your chakra levels," She started, pausing as she clearly hesitated on what to say next. "I'll be in the kitchen making tea. Come find me in the living room when you've woken up more."

Kakashi slid his eyes open to watch as Sakura walked into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. His head still hurt from his hangover the day before, but it wasn't nearly as bad and he found himself able to think again. 

Something was off with Sakura, and it wasn't just the way she was behaving and hesitating over her words. It felt like her appearance was off, but that didn't seem quite right. She looked the same as she had the entire day when she'd been reading, the only difference being that she was now wearing her doctor's jacket, but there was something fundamentally different about her that he couldn't quite place.

After letting himself wake up a little bit more, Kakashi grabbed the shirt he'd been wearing the day before and threw it over his head. The mask slipped into place as he left the bedroom and made his way to the living area, taking his usual place on the floor while he waited. 

"I made some hojicha so you can go back to sleep after I leave," Sakura smiled as she walked into the living area with two cups of tea. 

"Do you have an extra early shift today or something?" Kakashi asked, taking the cup of tea she handed to him with what he hoped was a grateful smile. He watched her closely as she sat down on the couch cushion as far away from him as possible, noting the way she kept her arms close to her sides and had yet to relax. 

"No, I still have a few hours before I have to go in. A few of us from the meeting went to a bar afterward and I apparently fell asleep at the table," Sakura offered with a laugh, but her eyes didn't reflect the humor she attempted to show. 

That was when Kakashi finally noticed it: Sakura's smell had changed. Instead of her smell that he could now recognize from a crowd of bodies almost as well as his own, she smelled like booze and sweat and men. Normally, that wouldn't be so strange if she had gone to a bar, but she was acting weird and there was one person's smell on her that was more prominent than the rest. It was that last detail that stood out, and he tried to pin that smell to the face of anyone he knew and came up blank. The smell was definitely masculine and Kakashi felt his jaw clench as the worst possible scenario played through his mind.

"Sakura," Kakashi began, his voice lowering dangerously as he took in the way she seemed to react nervously. "Did anyone try to hurt you?"

"What?" She asked, obviously stunned.

"I can smell the bar on you, but there's one person's smell that stands out, and I'm pretty sure it's a man's smell. Were they trying to hurt you?"

Sakura seemed surprised for a long moment before smiling at him, trying to wave it off as she took another sip of tea. "No one tried to hurt me, Kakashi. You know there aren't very many people who could even try without having their bones broken, anyway."

"So you let him touch you," Kakashi said, his voice quiet, not bothering to make it a question as he watched Sakura nervously twist her fingers together. He was still half asleep, and the thought of someone laying their hands all over Sakura was too much for him, especially after the dream he'd just had where she'd been smiling so gently for him. "Who is it? I don't recognize the smell at all."

"You wouldn't," Sakura scoffed, pausing for a moment as she took another sip of tea before placing the cup on the coffee table. "He's from the hospital, and I didn't _let_ him touch me. He... he hugged me after confessing to me. It took me by surprise. He was drunk, and I couldn't exactly hurt a colleague."

Kakashi felt his mind start spinning slowly as he digested the new information. Sakura had been hugged without permission by a guy she didn't like, and she hadn't beat him up for it? He had seen her punch men for lesser offences, and yet she hadn't hurt this man at all? Why? Unless-

"Do you like him?"

The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he was asking. He knew that the question had basically been spat from his lips since it had hurt him just to ask it, but he didn't have it in him to make the thought hurt any less. Decades of life and death situations, of losing everyone close to him one by one, years of torture and hardship, and _this_ was what finally made him lose control of his words? It was no wonder he had avoided developing real feelings for anyone until now.

Sakura gaped at him in silence for a moment that stretched on for what seemed like hours. Eventually her shocked expression transformed into stubborn anger, her jaw snapping closed as her eyes flared to life.

"Why do you want to know?"

Kakashi paused before waving his hand as if trying to brush the question away. When Sakura refused to relent by keeping her eyes focused on his, angry and threatening to burn him alive, he finally gave in and decided to give her a partial truth, hoping that she wouldn't seen the rest of it.

"Considering your track record with men, it would probably be better for you if you didn't like him. The last two men you were with both betrayed you, and before that you only ever liked Sasuke and we both know how that turned out."

"I'm not a child anymore, Kakashi. I can take care of myself. I don't need you to hang around protecting me from any man that might hurt me in the future," Sakura replied, her lips tight with anger.

"Well then maybe you should pick the men you devote yourself to better," Kakashi hissed, feeling the frustration rise in him as he slammed his tea cup down on the table hard enough to feel it crack beneath his fingers. He paid it no mind as the tea slowly began to seep out of the ceramic onto the wooden table, finding that his anger felt a lot like the tea at this moment. It was heated and slowly bleeding through the cracks until it would inevitably ruin the solid foundation beneath him. Sakura was his table, the one thing to always hold him up when nothing else was there, but just like the table would become ruined by the tea, his anger was going to ruin their friendship if he wasn't stopped.

"I have picked better this time!" Sakura yelled, her hands balling into fists so tightly in his couch that he saw the cushion begin to rip at the seams out of the corner of his eyes, but Kakashi paid it no mind. He couldn't care less right now.

"Oh, so this guy is worth your time? Because I have never met a man who wears that much cologne who wasn't an asshole."

"I'm not talking about him!" Sakura screamed, her frustration tearing through her as her fist ripped through the cushion to punch at the wooden frame beneath her. 

"Are you sure?" Kakashi sneered, his eyes narrowing as he felt the anger seep into his skin, threatening to overtake him. "This guy you've picked then, are you sure he's not an asshole? Are you certain he doesn't have other women like Settan did, that he's not secretly married like Akahito?"

Kakashi watched as understanding flashed across Sakura's face. She glared at him stubbornly for a long moment before letting out a sigh, her anger slowly dissipating as her body relaxed. He studied her intently as she stood up from her place on the couch and walked into the kitchen without a word, only to come back into the living area with a towel. Without looking at him, she lifted his cracked mug and cleaned up the coffee table just in time to catch the tea before it spilled onto his floor. Kakashi did nothing but sit back and watch as she cleaned up the tea, feeling as if she was soaking up his anger along with it. He watched her with bated breath, feeling himself finally begin to calm down as he noticed the soft expression on her face despite what had just happened. She took the mug and towel into the kitchen before returning to the living area, leaning her back against the wall to gaze at him cautiously with her arms folded across her chest.

"Look, Kakashi... I know that it must have been hard for you to watch me chase after Sasuke for all those years despite everything that he tried to do. I know that you were happier than anyone else when we didn't continue dating after the war, because you were the one who was always there to see the worst of it. You were also the one who found me stumbling drunk in the streets after I found out about Akahito's wife, and you were the one who held me hostage so I wouldn't go out and break every bone in Settan's body when his other women came to warn me. If it weren't for you, I would be a mess."

Kakashi frowned as Sakuras words sank into his mind. He felt himself start to relax as he leaned back against the couch, gazing up at Sakura with a quiet focus as he tried to figure out the tone to her voice. He could tell that she was trying to keep her voice even, but something else was there beneath the careful surface and it was throwing him off.

"I just don't want you to get hurt again," He murmured, lowering his head and closing his eyes. He had promised to do everything he possibly could to keep her from getting hurt, yet he had been the one to hurt her this time. He didn't know if he would be able to forgive himself.

He missed the easy smile she shot in his direction, missed the way her gaze had softened as she watched him. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to face her quite yet.

"I promise you Kakashi, the guy I love right now is a good person. I've loved him for years, but I only recently came to realize that it was a romantic attraction. He's always been good to me, and he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me."

"What about unintentionally?"

Sakura smiled sadly at that as Kakashi looked up, letting his gaze become caught in hers for few seconds before she laughed lightly and turned her eyes to look out of the window. The sun was starting to rise, casting a soft light over Sakura and Kakashi found himself thinking that she had never been more beautiful to him than she was in this very moment. She had dark circles under her eyes from a lack of sleep and her hair was an unkempt mess that had started falling out of her ponytail a long time ago. Her clothes were in desperate need of ironing and she had spilled tea on her white doctors coat at some point during their heated exchange that she had never bothered cleaning up. But still, she was beautiful.

"He's a ninja, so sometimes he hurts me when he comes home with injuries and tries to play it off like they aren't important, because he doesn't realize how much he means to me or how much it would destroy me if I lost him," Sakura said, her voice quiet as she glanced at Kakashi for a moment before turning her eyes up to the ceiling. "He's saved me more times than I can count, has stood up for me when I wouldn't even stand up for myself, and he's one of the only people in my life who never really left." 

Her sad smile became warmer as she seemed to think about this man, whoever he was, and Kakashi felt his heart squeeze painfully as he watched her. He knew that he should be happy for her if she had found someone who treated her so well and made her smile that like, but it was hard to ignore the whispers in the back of his mind telling him that it should be him instead. 

"The worst part is," Sakura whispered so quietly that Kakashi wasn't sure if she had spoken or not. When he looked up, her eyes were closed tightly and a slow stream of tears had started to fall down her cheeks. "I know that he loves me too. I can see it in the way he looks at me and in the way he treats me. He goes out of his way to try and make me laugh and becomes enraged at the thought of someone else hurting me. He listens to my requests no matter how ridiculous they are, even if he acts like it's an inconvenience. He does everything he can to make me happy, sometimes I think without even realizing it, but I also know that he'll never tell me how he feels. He tells himself that it's out of respect for me, that he doesn't want to burden me, but in reality he's just scared because he doesn't think I could ever love him back. He doesn't think he deserves my love, and that honestly hurts me more than anything else." 

This was it. Sakura had finally found someone to keep by her side who actually deserved her, if her words to be trusted. A part of Kakashi wanted to hold onto the hope that she was lying, or at the very least exaggerating, but he knew from the smile on her lips that she was telling the truth exactly as it was. She loved this man, and he apparently loved her back. 

Kakashi forced himself to look away, staring at his hands that had started twisting together painfully in his lap. He knew that he needed to be happy for her, and in a way he was happy for her, but he couldn't bring himself to feel the joy that he should have. Still, he had promised himself that he would never let his own feelings get in the way her her future, and he would keep that promise for her sake.

"I hope that you can find a way to get through to him," Kakashi murmured, hating the way he choked on his own words. 

For a long time, Sakura remained silent. He wanted to look up to see why she wasn't speaking, but he wasn't sure that he would be able to keep his expression completely under control. Kakashi realized belatedly that he'd started picking at one of his hang nails when it started to bleed. 

"Hey Kakashi, can I do something?"

Kakashi kept his eyes planted firmly on his hands and nodded his head, holding his breath as he felt her step closer to him. She stood in front of him for a long moment, and then suddenly he was crashing against the wall so hard that his pictures fell. His hands automatically came up to hover over his cheek where she had punched him. He looked up finally, stunned and about to ask her what that was for, but she was staring at him with a shaky smile plastered onto her lips and he was left speechless.

"Did that finally get through to you, Kakashi?" Sakura asked, a small tinge of fear slipping into her otherwise determined voice. She stared at him for a moment longer before turning on her heels and heading to the front door. As she started pulling her shoes on, she shouted something about being back tomorrow to check on him before leaving the apartment and slamming the door shut behind her so hard that he saw the door frame start to crack. 

Hours could have passed before Kakashi was able to stand up from his place on the floor and he wouldn't have noticed. Eventually he managed to crawl back into bed, her lingering scent surrounding him like a warm blanket as he stared at the ceiling. 

His mind was racing as he replayed every scene from the last three months. Every smile she had given, every touch that had lingered just a moment too long, every playful joke that had sounded just a little bit like she was trying to flirt. Every moment had seemed accidental, but when he added everything together, it almost seemed like there was actually some intention there. It was almost as if she really had been referring to him, and the realization hit him hard as he remembered how she had described the man she loved and realized that he wasn't very far off. In fact, there was nothing that she'd said that couldn't apply to him. 

Kakashi thought about the way she had leaned her face into his palm the night before. He thought about the way her eyes had fluttered, the way her breathing had all but stopped when he'd pressed their foreheads together. He remembered the way her eyes had stared hungrily at his body just after he'd showered, at the way her eyes had glittered mischievously when she'd joked about wearing less in her apartment. There were so many moments playing through his mind that he felt his head spin.

For the first time since he'd discovered his own feelings for her, Kakashi let himself wonder what he would do if Sakura actually returned his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Huge thanks go to k_waifu for helping me figure out how to write a flashback scene, and to lulu42 for letting me know about a mistake I left in the original posting of this chapter. u_u_


	3. Chapter 3

_"Did that finally get through to you, Kakashi?"_

Yes, yes it had.

Those words had played through Kakashi's mind all night and into the next day, bringing with them thoughts and feelings he had been trying to ignore for far too long. However, they were now at the forefront of his thoughts and he had no choice but to finally think about how he felt about Sakura, and about what those feelings meant. 

He knew he cared for her, that much he had never doubted. How _much_ , and in what way, he cared about her were another story. She had made it as clear as the moon outside of his window that her feelings toward him were romantic. It was something he had never thought possible, but now that he was faced with the possibility that was more than a little bit possible, he had to think about his own feelings, and more importantly, what to do with them.

His feelings toward Sakura were almost definitely romantic, and he knew that it ran a lot deeper than mere lust. If it was just lust, he would find himself dreaming of her body and not her smile. If they weren't serious, he would find it easy to push them aside, but he had been trying to ignore them for months and had failed miserably. 

The question now was: Would he be able to give her what she wanted from him? He hadn't been in a proper relationship in ages, and in every relationship in the past, he had always broken their hearts. They'd always said that he'd seemed far away, like his mind and heart were elsewhere. Back then, it had been true. His mind had been on the past more than the present, and the people deep in his heart had all been dead, but most of his wounds from the past had started to heal a long time ago. When he'd died under Pain's attack on Konoha, he'd been able to reconcile with his father. After that, during the final war, he had been able to meet Obito and Minato again, and although his meeting with Obito had been less than perfect at first, they had patched things up in the end and he'd felt like he could finally start to heal. Still, he didn't know if those factors were enough to change the habits he'd been forming his entire life. He didn't know if he would be able to give Sakura what she needed.

Kakashi's thoughts were broken as he felt familiar footsteps through the living room floor as Sakura entered his apartment. He glanced up to the entryway to watch her, his heart racing through his chest. She shrugged her shoes off and began walking toward him, her eyes fixed on the floor as she avoided looking at him directly.

Kakashi frowned, noticing how tense she was. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips set in a tight line in the expression she always had when she was irritated. She knelt beside him where he lay on the floor and without a word brought her hands to hover above his stomach to begin checking his chakra, not bothering to slide them under his shirt like she normally did. 

Kakashi sighed, knowing that there had definitely been a shift in their relationship from the way she was doing her best to ignore him and the fact that she had taken until almost midnight to stop by, despite the morning shift he knew she had worked. Kakashi watched her frustrated expression, feeling the nerves rising in his chest until he almost felt the bile in his throat. He didn't want to bring up the topic that was still so fresh, but he also knew that she would resent him if he tried to brush everything off. 

"Sakura, look... I'm sorry," Kakashi began, watching as the chakra in her hands flickered as they began to shake. She took a deep breath and steadied herself before continuing without a word, but he knew for sure that she was at least listening. "I had never considered the possibility that you would ever feel anything toward me, and I didn't mean to hurt you by brushing your feelings aside. But I need to know, what is it that you want from me?"

Sakura didn't reply, but he could tell she was thinking it over by the way her teeth chewed on her lower lip. He waited with bated breath for her to say something, but she just stayed silent even as several minutes passed. If she wasn't going to answer him, then he would have to bridge this topic himself, even if it _was_ incredibly awkward.

"Sakura, I know I don't need to remind you, but I'm a lot older than you. I used to be your teacher, and I've no doubt killed more people than you've saved. I'm not good for you."

At that, Sakura lifted her eyes to him finally and glared at him. Her hands stopped glowing as she let herself sit fully on her legs, the stubborn twitch of her eyebrow almost making him smile despite the tension in the air. 

"I know that, Kakashi. But you don't get to decide what's good for me and what isn't."

Kakashi watched her for a long moment, considering her words. She wasn't wrong, but he wasn't sure if she understood exactly what she was asking for. To be fair though, he didn't know either. "What kind of relationship do you want from me, exactly?"

Sakura immediately tensed, turning her eyes to the wall he had landed against when she'd punched him the day before. Kakashi watched the way her hands balled into fists, her eyes narrowed and shining with unshed tears. He could tell that she was frustrated, but he didn't know what to do.

Sakura shifted where she sat, as if she was going to try and stand, and Kakashi felt a small tinge of panic rise within him. He didn't know if she was planning on leaving already, but he couldn't let her walk away like this, not with so much left unsaid. 

Before Sakura had a chance to move too far away, Kakashi sat up on his elbow and reached out with his other arm, grasping Sakura around the wrist gently. She immediately froze, and he watched the way she breathed in sharply before slowly turning her eyes to his face, her lower lip captured between her teeth. She was trying so hard to keep her expression neutral, to not show the glimmer of hope that flickered through her eyes, but Kakashi knew her better than that. She was guarding herself and preparing for the worst.

"I don't know if I can be the man you need, Sakura. The last thing I want to do is hurt you," Kakashi began, watching the hurt and anger flash through her eyes before forcing himself to look to where his hand held her wrist. His grip was loose, and he knew that she could move away if she really wanted to, yet she hadn't budged. If she could tell him she loved him, even if it was in a roundabout way that ended with him being punched into a wall, the least he could do was face her properly.

Kakashi breathed in deeply, licking his lips and steeling himself, willing his heart to slow it's incessant beating. Her hand was balled into a fist so tight her knuckles had turned white, and he could feel the tremor running through her arm. He knew that drawing this moment out was hurting her, and he needed to decide. It was now or never.

"I've never been good at relationships of any type, and I have more flaws than you probably realize. I've never been able to make anyone happy in all of my thirty four years of life... But," Kakashi paused, flicking his eyes to Sakura's face for a brief moment before closing them. He unwrapped his fingers from her wrist, trailing them the rest of the way down to rest on top of her hand. He heard Sakura gasp softly and tried to ignore the way his fingers were starting to shake. "I want you to be happy, Sakura, more than anything. So if you're completely sure that I'm the one you want, I... I would like to try."

The silence stretched on forever in a way that Kakashi should have been used to by now, but this silence was more deafening than anything he'd experienced in the four months since he'd lost his hearing. He held his breath, refusing to open his eyes. 

And then, her hand unclenched from its fist. Kakashi had a brief moment of trepidation, thinking that maybe she was going to move away and leave his apartment, never looking back at him. Maybe he would have to deal with Tsunade or Shizune monitoring his condition for the rest of his life. The panic returned and started to settle into his skin, his heart pounding so hard that he thought it would burst out of his chest. He didn't know what to think anymore, and then the most amazing thing happened.

Sakura turned her hand over and laced their fingers together.

Kakashi felt his breath hitch as his eyes snapped open, instantly locking onto Sakura's gaze. He was lost and drowning in a sea of endless jade, and then she pulled him back when she tightened her hold on his hand just enough for him to realize where he was and what was going on. There were questions in her eyes, but they were overshadowed by a grin on her lips that was so bright it took his breath away. 

"I'm sure, Kakashi."

*****

The next night, they had gone about their usual routine of dinner and a movie, but things between them had definitely changed. Sakura's smiles had become more nervous, and the air had become more tense, but it wasn't all bad. When they'd sat together to watch the movie, they had naturally fallen into place closely beside each other and by the end of the night, Sakura had managed to sneak her way beneath his arm to cuddle close to him.

The week after that, Sakura had laced their fingers together under the table while they ate. Kakashi had smiled at her, but had also recognized the insecurity and unsureness edging itself into her smile. Until that point, she had always been the one to move first, to try and get closer to him and he hadn't done anything but reciprocate. So, he'd decided to finally take a step forward, even though part of him was still screaming at him that she would get tired of him and leave him. It had taken a lot of effort to squash that voice down long enough to summon his courage. For the first time in far too long, he had pulled down his mask to eat his dinner with someone else in the room, and he had left it down for the rest of the night. Sakura hadn't said anything, but he'd noticed the easy smile on her lips and the way her eyes had sparkled.

They had kissed for the first time later that night. Kakashi had been hesitant at first, unsure of how far he wanted to push things when they were still in such new territory, but Sakura had just responded as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The kiss had remained innocent enough, but it had lit a fire in Kakashi that he knew had everything to do with the smile that occured afterward from the woman beside him. It was that night that Kakashi had been forced to accept the fact that even if one day Sakura changed her mind and decided she was better off without him, he would never be able to free himself of these feelings for her. But when she smiled for him with her face illuminated by the TV screen, their foreheads pressed together and fingers interlaced, he found that he didn't mind.

*****

A month later found them cuddling together on Sakura's couch, her back pressed to his chest with his arms wrapped around her waist. Their legs were tangled together on the middle cushion, and his chin was resting gently on her shoulder. They'd had to move date nights (as they were now dubbed) to her place after Kakashi's TV had died, but he didn't mind. It let him get out of his apartment, and now that he wasn't trying so hard to suppress his feelings he found that he enjoyed being surrounded by her scent again. The same thing that had frustrated him endlessly was now something that relaxed him more than anything else, and he could easily say that he enjoyed the change in his perception.

Somehow, they had decided to watch possibly the only movie on the planet where neither of the main characters ever talked. It was already forty-five minutes into the movie, and no one had said a word except for side characters. They were watching a scene where they'd broken into an apartment with the intent to stay there overnight and, although the movie itself seemed interesting, Kakashi couldn't help but let his mind wander. It had only been a month since his relationship with Sakura had changed, but it had felt so natural. Maybe it was because they had known each other for so many years, or maybe it was because they had grown closer than he ever thought possible since he'd lost his hearing, but being with Sakura felt... _right_. It was as if his soul had finally found the pieces that had been missing all his life, as if he was finally seeing the world in color after seeing nothing but black and grey. For the first time in a very long time, Kakashi could say that he was truly happy.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Sakura let out a content sigh, snuggling closer to him and tugging at his arms to wrap them tighter around her waist before linking their fingers together. He nuzzled into her hair and let himself relax fully, even as the tiny voice of doubt began to pull at the edges of his thoughts. Kakashi knew that he was happy with their relationship, but that didn't necessarily mean that she was as well.

"Hey, Sakura," Kakashi began, hesitating even as his mind begged him to ask the question he'd been curious about for the last month. He heard her hum in acknowledgement and knew that he had to say something. He took a deep breath and gathered his courage, fighting to keep the uncertainty out of his voice. "Are you happy?"

Sakura didn't respond at first, instead tightening her grip on his fingers. Kakashi was about to tell her to ignore what he asked when she finally turned her head to watch him curiously. Her eyes sparkled even in the darkness of the living room as she studied his expression for a long moment before letting a smile play on her lips. 

"Yes, I'm happy. Are you, Kakashi?"

Kakashi studied her expression, looking for any hesitation or any hint that she might be unsure of her answer. When he found nothing, he let the smile spread out over his lips and nodded his head. He watched as Sakura's eyes immediately darted down to his lips, and he had to fight not to squirm under her gaze. He still wasn't completely comfortable walking around without his mask, but his discomfort was nothing when stacked up against his feelings for Sakura.

It almost took him by surprise when Sakura leaned forward and pressed their lips together, but he responded easily, letting his fingers thread through her hair as they kissed, gentle and slow. Sakura smiled against his lips, gently nibbling at his lower lip before turning back around to face the movie once more. Kakashi watched as the blush spread to her ears and he chuckled to himself, wrapping his arms back around her waist and pulling her as close to him as physically possible. He returned his chin to her shoulder and smiled as he realized that her gaze on the TV was unfocused as she chewed on her lower lip.

Kakashi kept his eyes on Sakura, knowing that he wouldn't be able to focus on the movie anymore, and felt something swell inside of his chest as he watched the edges of her lips curl up into a smile. Being able to relax on the couch with Sakura in his arms felt so perfect, and it was something he wouldn't have ever imagined being able to experience even in his dreams.

"You know, I never thought that I would ever be able to make anyone happy," Kakashi whispered, feeling the way Sakura's breath caught in her throat through his hands resting on her stomach. He kissed her shoulder, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his lips as he finally let himself give the feelings threatening to burst through his chest a name.

Kakashi felt the way Sakura's heart was beating in her chest, heard the way her breath shook even as she tried to remain silent. He smiled, nuzzling his nose against her neck and finding himself temporarily overwhelmed by the feelings twisting around in his stomach as he breathed her in. He loved the scent that was so distinctly Sakura, and knew that he wanted to be surrounded by it for the rest of his life. It was that final realization that pushed him forward, driving him to say the words that were already resting against the edge of his tongue. The words spilled from his lips before he had a chance to think about them too hard, his voice calm and easy despite the nerves fluttering frantically in his stomach.

"I also never thought that I would ever love someone this much."

Kakashi let out a breath and fought back a grin at the way Sakura immediately tensed, knowing that he had caught her off guard. If he was being honest, he had caught himself off guard too, but he knew now that this was the feeling that had been bubbling beneath the surface for months. It had been subtle before, barely there but still existing deep within him. Once he had finally allowed himself to look at it, it had gone from mere wisps of smoke and started to take form, only becoming fully solid once he'd allowed himself to give the feeling a name. It was something that he knew should have scared him, should have sent him running in the opposite direction, but somehow he found himself wanting to be here anyway. He both wanted and _needed_ to be here at this exact moment, sitting in Sakura's apartment with his arms around her waist.

"Say it again," Sakura whispered as she turned her body toward the back of the couch to face him again. Kakashi smiled as he pulled her close, nuzzling his nose against hers. He felt his nerves hammer away at his chest, his stomach flipping around incessantly. There was no going back now, but he knew that there was no other place he would rather be.

"I love you, Sakura. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

Kakashi felt the breath leave his lungs all at once as the world around him shifted, the weight of his own words hitting him hard. It was as if a wind was blowing in the otherwise still apartment, his heart pounding so hard against his chest that he could almost hear it.

Sakura gaped at him for a long moment, her mouth open as if she wanted to say something. She remained silent and instead leaned forward, pressing herself more fully into his chest. Kakashi let his forehead rest against hers as he gazed into her eyes, pulling her just that little bit closer until the space between them was almost completely gone.

Kakashi watched Sakura quietly for a long moment that seemed to extend forever, his heart beating rapidly even as he tried to keep his eyes calm. He wanted - no, he _needed_ \- Sakura to realize how serious he was about this, about her. When the smile returned to her lips, he let out a shaky breath and lifted his hand to ghost just over the skin of Sakura's jaw. He watched as her eyes closed and a shuddered breath left her lips, and suddenly the room around them disappeared.

Kakashi pressed his lips against Sakura's, gentle and cautious at first, until the fire she lit inside of him spread through every inch of his body. He felt Sakura's hands fist themselves into his shirt as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, a small moan escaping his lips. His fingers that had been lightly caressing her jaw lifted to run through the strands of her hair while his other hand moved from her waist to lightly play at the edges of her shirt. Sakura inched ever closer until she was practically in his lap, and he felt his stomach begin to coil as a bolt of pleasure shot straight up his spine. He felt his thoughts start to slip away as his fingers gripped into Sakura's hair harder, feeling her gasp against him. He couldn't tell if it was a gasp of pain or pleasure, and that thought was enough to bring him back down to Earth.

Kakashi pulled himself away from the kiss reluctantly, watching the questions float through Sakura's hazy eyes. He took a moment to steady his breathing, finally realizing just how hard his heart was beating in his chest.

"I don't want to go too fast if you're not ready," Kakashi whispered, watching for Sakura's reaction hesitantly. She just stared at him for a moment before a grin spread across her lips, setting off a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"Kakashi, I've been ready for ages. I was just waiting on you."

Kakashi felt his eyes narrow with curiosity as he took in the way Sakura was watching him, all playful with no hint of hesitation. He didn't have very long to think about it before she leaned forward again, crashing their lips together.

Kakashi only vaguely felt when Sakura shifted to straddle his hips and shoved her hands underneath his shirt. His mind was spinning, still trying to wrap his thoughts around the way she had looked at him until suddenly everything shifted into focus again as Sakura ground her hips down into his lap. Her fingers had moved to his sides, digging into his skin just deep enough to linger around the edge of painful.

Kakashi just barely recognized the whimper that rose from her throat again before he snapped into action, grabbing her legs and wrapping them around his waist as he stood. He kept his lips firmly pressed against Sakura's, biting softly on her lower lip and grinning at the moan she let out as he began making his way toward her bedroom. 

Sakura let out a surprised squeal as Kakashi dropped her onto the bed, but he didn't give her any time to recover before crawling onto the bed above her, pressing their lips together and reveling in the way she responded immediately. He kept her lips busy as his fingers trailed lower and lower, letting his fingers graze against her nipples through her shirt even as he swallowed her gasp. His fingers moved lower still, running lightly down her taut stomach and only stopping when they were playing along the edge of the waistband of her shorts. He pulled himself back and watched her reaction, momentarily stunned by how beautiful she was with her hair splayed out around her, with her lips bruised and a flush on her cheeks. His fingers danced along the elastic band and then she smiled, nodding her head before pulling him back in for another kiss. 

Kakashi shifted and nudged her legs open with his knees, resting one hand on her knee as he let his fingers slide lower under her shorts until they found the place he was looking for, a strangled groan catching in his throat as he realized how wet she already was. His fingers moved in slow circles over her clit even as Sakura squirmed underneath him. He kept his pace torturously slow as he kissed down her neck, sucking lightly at the hollow above her collarbone, every moan she let out sending tingles running down his spine. His hand on her knee moved to grasp her hip tightly as he nipped at the sensitive skin of her neck, increasing the speed of his fingers as she gasped beneath him. 

He kept at it, shifting his head to let his tongue and teeth play at her nipples through the silky fabric of her tank top as his fingers moved lower, driving into her. Sakura tensed, moaning low and breathy as she tightened around him. Her back arched, and her hips would have easily risen off the bed if he hadn't been holding her down. With a smirk, Kakashi let his teeth graze her nipple as his fingers drove in and out faster, curling them with each thrust to hit her sweet spot, and suddenly she trembled beneath him as her walls tightened and pulsed around his fingers. He moved his mouth back to hers, crashing their lips together as his fingers moved back to her sensitive clit to move slowly, swallowing her cries as he drew out her orgasm even further.

Kakashi stopped his movements to give Sakura a moment to recover then moved to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, unable to stop the smirk from playing along his lips. Sakura watched him, eyes cloudy with her orgasm, but there was a flash of curiosity there covering a deeper fire that still hadn't stopped burning. 

Kakashi gave her one last teasing circle before pulling his hand out from under her shorts, his smirk only growing at the way she shuddered. He shifted and pressed down until his still clothed hips were pressed flush against her, rolling his hips just slightly. Sakura's eyes fluttered closed, a harsh gasp escaping her even as she finally found the strength to move again. She leaned forward, pressing their lips together fervently as her fingers found the waistband of his pants, tugging at them with all the grace of a hungry bear, but it got the point across.

Kakashi pulled himself away to kneel by the end of the bed, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he watched the way Sakura immediately pouted at the loss of physical contact. He tugged his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor before touching the waistband of his pants, observing the hungry look Sakura was giving him and committing the expression to memory. He debated drawing the moment out longer, but when she sat up and locked her eyes with his as she tugged off her own shirt, his eyes fell to her pale, full breasts and his need to tease her immediately died down as he had to swallow his heart back down from his throat. 

Sakura tossed her shirt to the floor and began moving to take her shorts off, but Kakashi moved faster and stopped her just as she started pulling them down. She looked up, clearly exasperated and confused, but she understood what was going on once he moved her hands away and hooked his fingers into her waistband instead. If this was going to happen, he wanted to enjoy every moment of it. Rushing it just wasn't his style, even though he was starting to get the feeling that Sakura tended to go about these things with little to no patience. 

The thought made him chuckle, the grin on his lips only spreading as Sakura glared up at him impatiently. His fingers gripped at the waistband of her shorts again, gripping the edge of her panties with it and letting the moment stretch before slowly inching them down her thighs, his eyes never once leaving hers even though he wanted so desperately to glance down at the curls he'd felt earlier. Sakura shifted impatiently, and by the time her shorts had reached her calves she seemed to have given up on waiting. Before Kakashi knew what was happening, Sakura had grabbed him and thrown him back onto the bed where she had been just a moment ago, kicking her shorts the rest of the way off and moving to kneel with her hips hovering just over his knees. She smirked down at him as if she was going to devour him, and Kakashi felt his cock twitch as her eyes shifted down to the visible bulge in his pants. 

Sakura didn't waste any time before tugging his pants down to his knees, and if Kakashi hadn't been so painfully hard, he probably would have laughed a little bit. The impatience and eagerness was just so _Sakura_ , and he felt his breath catching in his throat even as his heart pounded in his ears. He stared at the woman above him closely, taking in the smirk on her lips that had transformed and become almost nervous, watching the mischief in her eyes slowly fade as it was replaced by a tender affection that he knew must have been reflected in his eyes as well. He found himself wondering if this was what it felt like to drown in someone's eyes.

Sakura stayed hovered above his knees and Kakashi knew that even though she could easily take control and move to slide herself around him she was waiting for his sake, to make sure that this was something he wanted just as much as she did. If they took this next step, they would never be able to be just friends and comrades again, and she was giving him time to think it over despite the restless energy rolling off of her in waves. She had already made her decision clear, but this was something that required both of them. If they were going to take this leap forward, it would be with the intention of never going back. It would be forever.

The thought scared him enough that he paused, letting his eyes close for a brief moment as his thoughts spun in circles around him. It wasn't the idea of forever with Sakura that scared him; no, it was the thought of things not working and losing her forever that terrified him. There were no guarantees that this relationship would last, and that thought was enough to cause the panic he'd felt earlier to rise back up, threatening to spill out over his skin.

_"Yes, I'm happy. Are you, Kakashi?"_

Kakashi let his eyes slip open to watch the expressions fluttering across Sakura's face. She was trying so hard to cover the fear that was buried underneath the layers of desire and affection, but it was still there hiding in her eyes. She was scared that he would reject her, and the thought made his heart ache. Here he was hesitating as the woman who knew him so well, the woman who he had somehow managed to make _happy_ just by being himself, waited for him to make a decision even though she had practically taken out her own heart and handed it to him. 

Rain began pounding against the window, drawing his attention away from his own thoughts just long enough to remember that rainy night all those months ago when Sakura had held his hand under the covers during their first movie night. She had smiled at him, had tried so hard to convey her feelings without saying anything, and suddenly Kakashi was hit with the realization that her decision had been made long ago. She had believed, even back then, that the risk of moving forward was worth far more than the comfort of staying safely platonic. If she was willing to take that risk, then he would try to be, too.

"Sakura, look at me," Kakashi whispered as he sat up, his hands gripping her hips and pulling her closer to him. Her eyes locked onto his even as she chewed at her bottom lip nervously, and he felt himself smile as he saw the affection in her eyes. "Are you sure you want this? Because there will be no going back."

Sakura watched him closely before letting the smile take over her lips. "I'm sure, Kakashi."

Kakashi tilted his chin forward to brush their lips together, his fingers tightening on her hips. He tugged Sakura forward more until he could feel her wetness against his cock, his entire body tensing as a shudder ran up his spine. Sakura gasped at the contact, wiggling against him until the tip of his penis slipped just slightly between her folds and suddenly Kakashi felt his hesitation fall away.

Gently, he sucked her lower lip into his mouth as he let his hands run up from her hips to her sides until they were resting on her waist. Sakura moaned as she sank down on him slowly, and Kakashi couldn't stop the harsh intake of breath at the white hot jolt of pleasure that shot through him. Kakashi felt his eyes shut as his fingers gripped at Sakura's waist just a little tighter, feeling the heat pulsing around him as she adjusted to his width. His blood was roaring in his ears as his body trembled, and then she whispered his name and Kakashi pried his eyes open, finding himself breathless at the shy smile on Sakura's lips. This was real, this was happening. He smiled, bright and wide despite the shudder that was still running through him, and then her smile widened as her hips started moving slowly, and he found himself unable to form any thoughts.

Sakura placed her hands on Kakashi's shoulders for leverage before rolling her hips forward, her back arching in the perfect angle for Kakashi to lean forward and pull one of her nipples into his mouth. Sakura gasped, tightening around him even as her hips began moving faster. Kakashi smirked, then reached up to pinch her other nipple with his fingers as he sucked and nipped at her other, his mouth grinning around it as he realized that her breathing became more ragged every time he used his teeth. Interesting.

Kakashi let the fingers of his free hand fall down to where they were connected, and let his thumb return to where it'd been earlier, rubbing circles against her clit. Sakura cried out as her hips started moving faster and more erratically. Kakashi pinched one nipple just a touch harder than before, letting his teeth graze across the other as he let his breath ghost across the tightened bud. He felt her getting close, felt the way her walls trembled around him, then bit down on her nipple softly and then she was falling apart, crying out as she came, pulsing around him so tight and so hot that he almost fell with her. 

Kakashi fought back his own orgasm as he forced his eyes to stay open to watch her, his mind committing every detail of her expression to memory. He took in the way her eyes were slammed shut, the way her eyebrows were knit together, the way her mouth opened and cried out even as her breathing came out in sharp pants. His hands moved to her hips to keep her pressed flush against him even as she twitched and trembled, digging his fingers in hard enough that it would probably leave a bruise. He held her there, doing his best to steady his breathing until she finally relaxed around him. Sakura breathed in, slow and shaky, and Kakashi watched her face as her eyes opened again, a lazy smile on her lips that made his heart clench. 

Sakura leaned forward slowly, pressing their lips together for a slow and languid kiss. He shifted his hips just slightly and felt her shudder above him, biting down softly on her lower lip and smirking as he felt her tighten around him. He held her hips in place and experimentally thrusted into her, grinning at the moan that poured from her lips.

That was all the encouragement he needed. Kakashi let one hand move to her upper back as he flipped them around so that she was laying on the bed, her eyes wide and surprised. Slowly, he pulled away until just the tip of his penis was in her, and then her back was arching off the bed as he slammed back into her. Sakura gasped, reaching up and gripping his arms tightly even as he leaned down to kiss her again. He pulled his hips back before thrusting into her again, setting himself to a quick rhythm as their tongues danced together fervently. 

He swallowed Sakura's cries as he kept his pace, his hands lifting her hips off of the bed so that he could hit the sweet spot inside of her. Immediately, he could feel her start to tighten around him again, pulling back from the kiss to rest his forehead against hers, keeping their eyes locked. His breath caught in his throat as he felt the rhythm of his hips becoming slightly erratic despite his best efforts to keep his pace, and gods he was so _close_. 

He lifted her hips a little more to get a better angle, and then suddenly she was gripping him tight again as she came, pulsing around him so hard that he followed her, his mind blanking and eyes slamming shut as his breathing stopped. He felt himself pulsing inside of her as his body dissolved into nothing but pleasure.

A sharp pain brought him back to his senses as he realized that Sakura had dug her nails into his arm and dragged them down at some point, the light sheen of sweat on his body causing the marks to start stinging. He let the pain ground him and waited for a long moment that seemed to stretch on forever until his breathing started to even out. He let his eyes open again and immediately found himself locked into those oh-so-familiar jade orbs, unable to stop the smile that pulled at his lips. Sakura laughed softly as she mirrored his smile, her breath shuddering just as much as his was.

Kakashi kissed her softly before slowly pulling himself out, somehow forming enough thought to grab the box of tissues from the bedside table before collapsing next to her. They went about cleaning themselves up, and it took more effort than Kakashi would ever admit to not just tip over and fall into bed. His head felt foggy like his brain was made out of cotton balls, which was probably why he was so surprised when he tossed the tissues and they actually managed to land in the trash can across the room. Belatedly, he realized that throwing things with accuracy kind of came with his profession of choice, and for some reason that thought made him snort with laughter. 

Kakashi fell back onto the mattress, his head somehow managing to hit the pillow as he spread his arms out. He would never admit to the giggle that escaped his lips as he continued to imagine throwing shuriken shaped tissues at random enemies and training logs. A weight fell onto his shoulder and he glanced down, smiling as he watched Sakura roll over and scoot until she was curled up against him, one arm under the pillow while the other draped itself across his waist. He didn’t bother trying to stop himself from leaning down and kissing the top of her head, the messy pink strands tickling his nose until he was forced to retreat. The realization that he didn’t have to stop himself from doing these things anymore, that this amazing woman actually wanted _him_ , still seemed so surreal that if there wasn’t a distinct smell of sex and Sakura in the air, he never would have believed it. 

Sakura let out a content sigh as Kakashi snuggled into the covers, pulling them up so that her shoulders were completely covered. His thoughts filtered in and out slowly, passing him lazily as he struggled to focus on anything in particular. He had a moment to wonder what he’d been laughing ( _not_ giggling) about earlier, but that thought passed just as easily as the rest, and before he realized it, he had fallen asleep.

*****

A single ray of sunlight peeked through the curtains, landing directly on Kakashi's face. His eyes cracked open blearily, and he had a moment where he wondered why his bed seemed a lot softer than normal before he remembered the night before. A smile crept onto his lips as he looked down at where Sakura was sleeping on his shoulder. He placed a kiss on her head, nuzzling his nose into her hair and wondering if he would ever get tired of her scent.

As amazing as this moment was, Kakashi couldn't help but feel like something wasn't quite right. It wasn't something obvious, but instead was closer to the feeling he used to get when he was being watched during missions. He stayed where he was but let his eyes glance around the room to see if there was anything visibly out of place. The furniture was all the same as it had been last night, and the only thing that seemed different was their clothes laying on the floor. The curtains were blowing in the slight breeze from the open window where a few birds sat perched on Sakura's windowsill chirping away. There were a few pieces of paper on her desk that were about to blow onto the ground, but somehow he didn't think that the sound of shuffling paper would have woken him up.

Wait... The _sound_ of shuffling paper? Chirping birds?

Panic started to seep into his skin as he tried to figure out which sounds were memories from his clone, before realizing that he hadn't made a clone last night. Kakashi sat up suddenly, his eyes fixed on the birds at the windowsill as he listened to the chirps, feeling his entire body shudder when he realized that they were moving in time with the chirps resonating through the room all too clearly. He shifted his gaze to the papers on the desk and forced himself to remember to breathe when those, too, moved in time with the sounds he was hearing.

The sheets audibly rustled beside him as Sakura began to wake up, and Kakashi had to fight the urge to run to the bathroom and throw up. 

"Kakashi? Are you okay?" Sakura asked, her voice heavy with sleep as she gently touched his forearm. Kakashi didn't move or reply, instead focusing on how he could _hear_ his own breathing, which was gradually speeding up as his heart continued to pound harder and harder into his chest. He heard the blood pounding in his ears and wondered for a brief moment if he was going to pass out.

Before he had a chance to explore that thought more, there was a loud bang from the front door. Kakashi and Sakura both turned to the sound, and if Kakashi hadn't been freaking out, he would have taken better notice of the way Sakura didn't seem especially surprised that he'd turned his head as well. 

"Sakura, get out here before I break my way in!"

With a sigh, Sakura crawled out of bed and began getting dressed, throwing Kakashi's clothing at him as she cleaned up the pajamas she'd left on the floor the night before. Her demeanor remained calm despite having an angry Tsunade on the other side of her door and the fact that she had almost definitely noticed the way Kakashi had reacted to the sound. His curiosity at her lack of reaction was enough to calm him down somewhat, and he swallowed his heart back down from his throat before throwing his clothing on to follow her on her way to the front door, managing to cover his face with his mask just in time. 

"You're late," Tsunade glowered, hands crossed underneath her breasts as she stared hard at Sakura the second the door was opened. "Three platoons are supposed to be returning today, plus there are routine exams going on. Shizune is losing her mind at the hospital and she needs you to head in right away."

"Have her call Ino to come in and I'll make it up to them later," Sakura sighed. Kakashi almost missed the way she glanced over her shoulder at him, and was about to ask what was going on when he noticed the leer Tsunade was now giving him. That look caused a shiver to run down his spine until she eventually looked away and turned to Sakura instead.

"I expect both of you in my office in an hour," Tsunade barked out before turning and heading in the direction of the hospital. Kakashi glanced over at Sakura, who had started moving around in the kitchen to make breakfast. 

"I'll make some us some omelets while you go shower. You left a few clothes here last time, and you smell like... well... just go shower," Sakura muttered, trying to pretend to be focused on making breakfast even as her cheeks blushed a furious shade of pink.

Kakashi smiled as he watched her move through the kitchen. He wanted so badly to tease her, to ask what (or who) exactly he smelled like, but decided that he didn't want his breakfast to come flying at him while it was still in the frying pan. There was also the whole _hearing_ thing to distract him, which was only emphasised more when he entered the bathroom and turned the shower on, only to find that he could actually pick up the sound of the water running through the pipes and landing on the tile as it fell from the shower head.

There was plenty of time to tease Sakura about how they both smelled like sex later, and he for one wanted to figure out what the hell was going on. He forced his thoughts away from last night and jumped underneath the spray, knowing that he would be unable to relax even in the steamy bathroom until the questions lingering in his mind were finally answered.

*****

They arrived at Tsunade's office without a second to spare, a compromise between Sakura always arriving early and Kakashi being eternally late. It hadn't been intentional on their parts, but it had made Kakashi smile either way.

"Make sure no one interrupts us," Tsunade quietly muttered to the ANBU guarding the door, watching him flicker away before she turned her eyes to Kakashi. "I take it you heard what I said just now?"

Kakashi nodded, folding his hands into his pockets. He wanted to ask what was going on, why his hearing had suddenly returned, but he hadn't spoken once yet and knew that the sound of his own voice would likely freak him out a good bit. He was so used to just feeling his words, and the disorientation he had been feeling hadn't quite calmed down enough for him to want to speak yet. 

"You checked him over before coming here to make sure everything was fine, right Sakura?" Tsunade asked, a smile tugging at her lips as Sakura nodded her head without speaking. "Good. You can explain everything to him then. I'm tired of trying to wrap my head around this stupid convoluted jutsu."

Kakashi watched as Tsunade grabbed a bottle of sake from under her desk and wandered off to the information room, shutting the door behind her a little bit harder than he thought was necessary. He had a sneaking suspicion that she'd only told them to meet her in her office so that she could slip in some time to grab a drink without her ANBU guards snitching on her to Shizune.

To his left, Sakura let out an exasperated sigh and dropped to sit on the floor, patting the space beside her. Kakashi took a moment to gather himself before settling down beside her, leaning his back against the wall as he waited.

"I'm sorry for lying to you about losing my sense of smell," Sakura started off, wringing her fingers together nervously. Kakashi had, of course, known about it since the incident with the spicy food, but he chose to not say anything. Right now, his curiosity was winning out over his desire to tease Sakura over how bad she'd been at hiding it. "At first, I honestly didn't really notice. I knew something was off, but I could still smell you and you were beside me the whole time so I didn't realize it was gone until the first time I went to my shift at the hospital."

Kakashi hummed softly, finding himself more than a little bit unnerved at the sound that he actually heard leave his vocal chords. Never in his life had he thought he'd one day find it weird to hear the sound of his own voice.

"You know, I wasn't actually the only person you could hear," Sakura started, a weary smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Kakashi felt his eyebrows shoot up into his hair with surprise. "You would have been able to hear everyone in that holding cell and the guards outside if we hadn't escaped before the initial effects wore off."

Well, that made a lot of sense. It would have been odd if Sakura was truly the only person he had been able to hear even though everyone in the cell had seemed to be affected by the jutsu. 

"That jutsu... It was created to be used for interrogations. It takes away one of the senses completely, usually the one that's the most important to the person it's taken away from. It returns after a few hours, but only for the people who were in the room at the time. That’s why you could hear my voice after you lost your hearing. The prison guards are all part of the interrogation squad, so they take advantage of the fact that they’re the only ones that the prisoner can hear or smell, or whatever sense was lost, and abuse the sense that has been lost. They use the person's disorientation to do things like screaming at people who have lost their hearing so they can't sleep and forcing people who've lost their sense of taste to put all kind of foul things in their mouth. The worst one though is what they do to people who lose their sense of touch, apparently. It was bad enough that Tsunade-shishou wouldn't even tell me what they did."

"But," Kakashi began, shifting uncomfortably at the sound of his voice. Had he always sounded like that? It was hard to remember anymore. "Why that day?"

"They were looking for a spy, someone who would have been able to fight in that chaos and survive," Sakura laughed, even though they both knew the situation wasn't exactly funny. “We just happened to get the mission to investigate those rumors around the same time that they were looking for their spy.”

Kakashi took a moment to think over what he was being told. He had a feeling that they'd gotten very lucky when they'd managed to escape. Torture was something he had gotten used to over the years, but having one of his senses abused like that sounded horrible, especially since it had been hard enough to get used to being without it. To suddenly lose his hearing completely and then have it abused by the very few people he could hear would have been worse than anything he'd experienced before.

He wondered for a moment what had probably happened to the people who lost their sense of touch, and found himself shuddering as images flooded into his mind. Scenes of watching his fingers being cut off without feeling it while someone pinched his side painfully flashed before him, and he felt himself start to become queasy even though it wasn't real. He definitely understood why Tsunade hadn't told Sakura about what was done to those people.

"How long did you know?" Kakashi asked, scratching at his throat uncomfortably.

"Since around the time you decided to stay at your apartment," Sakura replied, worrying at her lower lip nervously. Kakashi watched as she pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees while pointedly looking at the floor. "When Mizukage-sama found out that we were both affected, she asked Tsunade-shishou to monitor our conditions and give reports so they could research the effects of the jutsu more thoroughly. I was given the responsibility, because you would have figured everything out if Tsunade-shishou suddenly decided to monitor your condition right away."

That was definitely true, but... "I still don't understand how my hearing suddenly returned."

"Ah, that," Sakura began, a smile playing on the edge of her lips even as her cheeks flushed bright red. Kakashi had a moment where he recalled the night before when her cheeks had been equally flushed, and he found himself smirking even with the situation they currently found themselves in. "Well, you know how I mentioned that it was an interrogation jutsu?"

Kakashi nodded, waiting while Sakura seemed to gather her thoughts. She took a bit longer than he expected, her brows furrowed as she clearly tried to think of the right way to word the explanation.

"They've been primarily using it to look for spies and people who have infiltrated the village with less than pure intentions. The jutsu is broken by the death of the caster, of course, or having the caster manually cancel it. Other than that, the only way for it to cancel itself is to have the person who's currently affected reveal the secret they're the most scared of saying out loud."

Kakashi pondered it over for a moment, rolling the words over in his mind before realizing the actual implications of her words. There was only one secret he'd voiced out loud yesterday, and although it hadn't been that much of a secret, he had certainly been scared of saying it.

"So you're saying that the jutsu broke because I told you that I loved you?"

Sakura blushed even more brightly and nodded her head, keeping her eyes on the floor. Kakashi remembered how he’d felt as if the world had shifted right after saying it and the sound of rain that’d broken him from his thoughts, but he'd been too preoccupied at the time to pay attention to it. 

"What about you? What was your big secret?"

Sakura immediately tensed before quickly letting her expression go neutral in a stubborn attempt at indifference. It wasn't completely convincing with the way her lips were set in a tight line, but Kakashi found it adorable anyway.

"I got my sense of smell back right after I punched you," Sakura mumbled, glancing his way for only a brief second before looking away again. "It was actually really useful information for them, since I didn't say the words directly. Seems like the exact wording don't matter as long as the intention for someone to find out the secret is there."

Kakashi hummed softly as he thought about it for a moment, realizing how big of a loophole that could be if the person they were trying to pry information out of knew how it worked. He could think of several ways to twist his words around to render the jutsu ineffective, and he stored the information in the back of his mind for later use if he ever needed it. He was wondering if there was any way he could learn the jutsu himself, when he realized something about what Sakura had said that he somehow hadn't really thought of until now.

"You know," He began, clearing his throat as he shifted his body so that his face was back in Sakura's line of sight, suddenly glad for the mask as it hid the smirk that was no doubt edging it's way onto his lips. "You never _did_ tell me what you were trying to say when you punched me. Don't you think that's kind of rude?"

"R-rude?!" Sakura sputtered, her mouth gaping open as her eyes widened. Kakashi fought to keep his face calm even as he watched the expressions fly across her face. She went from shocked to embarrassed, flushing a rather pretty shade of pink even as she switched to stubborn defiance. Gods, he would never get tired of watching this. "You know very well what I was trying to say!"

"No, I can _assume_ what you were trying to say. Without hearing the actual words, I can't say I _know_ it, now can I?"

Kakashi crinkled his eyes even as he wondered how long he would be able to tease Sakura before she became too embarrassed and snapped. The answer was, apparently, not very long. He heard her huff of indignation and had a split second to react, snapping his eyes open and catching her wrist before her fist had a chance to connect with his face again. Sakura immediately struggled and tried to pull her wrist back, which really just made it far too easy for Kakashi to use her own force against her. He kept his fingers grasped around her wrist as he allowed her to pull her fist back. Her back hit the bookshelf again just as Kakashi shifted so that he was on his knees in front of her, pressing himself as close to her as her bent knees would allow. She froze in place, her eyes shifting from his eyes to where his lips lay under the mask, and this time he didn't try to keep the smile off of his face.

"Say it, Sakura. Tell me what secret you were trying to convey."

"I..." Sakura began, her brows creasing as her eyes shifted back to his. There was so much emotion in them, and Kakashi felt his breath hitch as he waited for her to finally say the words he was longing to hear. The moment stretch on for what felt like several tense minutes before she finally took a deep breath and started again. "I was trying to tell you... That I..."

"Okay, none of that in my office," Tsunade growled as she re-entered the office, her voice shocking Kakashi enough that he jumped. He really had to get used to listening to his surroundings again, but right now he was mostly just frustrated at her timing. He could smell the sake clinging to Tsunade without even having to look her way, knowing that her cheeks would no doubt be flushed if the slight slur was anything to go on. "If you guys stay here any longer, my guards are going to get suspicious. Go home, and Sakura? Make sure you actually show up for your shift at the hospital tomorrow."

Kakashi watched as the blush spread across Sakura's cheeks all the way to her ears, though he wasn't sure if it was the position they'd been caught in that was embarrassing her, or if it was the fact that she'd actually forgotten to show up for a shift at the hospital. Somehow, he got the feeling that it was both.

In one fluid motion, Kakashi stood to his feet and used the hand that was still wrapped around Sakura's wrist to pull her with him before she had a chance to protest. He waved to the ANBU guards as they passed them in the hallway, his fingers loosening around Sakura's wrist. They had never really discussed when they were going to go public with their relationship, if they were at all, and he wasn't sure if he should let go.

Sakura seemed to sense his hesitation because she shifted her arm in his grasp, sliding it up until their hands were touching. Kakashi half expected her to pull away completely, but instead she surprised him by linking their fingers together. He glanced down at her, instantly noticing the way her nervousness had edged itself into her smile. Sakura was in the same position as him, unsure of whether or not he wanted to reveal their relationship, and the fact that she was thinking about it seriously was enough to relax him. 

They began to approach the door that would take them outside into the streets of Konoha. Kakashi could feel the nerves rolling off of Sakura so thickly that they were almost tangible, his own heart pounding in his chest so loudly that this time he really did hear it. He knew that if they went public, there would be a lot of backlash and there would be plenty of people who wouldn't understand. He knew that all of the negative reactions would be directed at him, but he had experienced far worse. If Sakura was comfortable with people knowing they were together, then he would gladly deal with any repercussions directed at them. He'd made up his mind to be with her a long time ago, and he refused to run from his decision out of fear of other people's reactions. If he could read erotic literature in public without getting embarrassed, he could do this.

Kakashi stopped as they reached the doors, tightening his fingers around Sakura's and grinning down at her, finding himself more amused than he should be at the surprise that took over her features. He couldn't stop himself from teasing her just a little bit further, raising their linked fingers to his lips and kissing the back of her hand, that same hand she routinely used to smash the ground and to save lives. The blush returned to her cheeks as he kicked the door open and pulled her outside, his lips moving to kiss her knuckles even as the sounds of Konoha started roaring around them. 

A few people gasped, but Kakashi paid them no mind as he kept his eyes on Sakura. He could tell that she was fighting off the urge to punch him out of embarrassment, her fingers tightening around his enough to be painful. 

Kakashi laughed softly and lowered their hands, fighting off the wince of pain as he kept their fingers locked together. Sakura grumbled under her breath, causing the grin on his lips to grow even further as they started walking down the streets of Konoha, fingers linked for anyone and everyone to see. 

The noises of the village he'd called home for so long sounded strange after being unable to hear anything for months. It was slightly overwhelming, but the fingers laced with his kept him grounded any time the nerves started to rise in his chest. 

There were so many voices surrounding them, some that he recognized and others that he didn't, but somehow they all became quiet again any time Sakura mumbled something under her breath. Kakashi couldn't help but glance at her every time, finding joy in the fact that no matter how many voices and noises surrounded him from now on, Sakura's voice would always stand out amongst the crowd. He knew that it wasn't because her voice had been the only thing in his life for months, but because it was the voice of the woman he had grown to love.

*****  
THE END  
*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the official end of Say it Again~ ♥ Thank you to everyone who has read and commented thus far! It honestly means so much to me.  
> I'm currently working on an Epilogue for this story, but it will likely only be one chapter as it's intended to just tie up a few loose ends. Unless it turns into its own story, I'll be posting it here as the fourth chapter. :)
> 
> Special thanks to TipsyRaconteur and k_waifu for looking this over before I posted it, and to cosipotente for being a constant force of positivity in my life. ♥ Without these three, I never would have finished this.


	4. Epilogue

*****

"Well, that should be the last of them."

Kakashi glanced around the living room of his new home, the first one in as long as he could remember, which was currently filled to the ceiling with boxes that still had to be sorted out. To his right both couches were shoved into a corner against the pale green walls, and to his left various kitchen appliances sat out on the counters where he'd started unpacking earlier that day. He'd tried to start unpacking the bedroom stuff first, but Iruka had quickly shut him down by explaining that sleeping in a bed with sheets was far less important than being able to make coffee and food to get through the rest of the unpacking. He hadn't been able to argue any further.

Everyone had left about an hour ago, and now that he'd finished carting in boxes from his old apartment, he finally had a moment to stop and close his eyes, basking in the silence that he'd been missing all day. He loved his friends, he really did, but there were only so many times he could listen to Genma teasing Iruka about his budding relationship with the new female teacher at the academy. After the tenth time, the jokes had started getting stale and Kakashi had resorted to throwing packing peanuts at the back of Genma's head. 

A gentle breeze started flowing in through the back door, which Kakashi assumed had been left open to let some fresh air into the dusty house. The backyard was closed off by a tall fence, and they were smack in the middle of two civilian households so it wasn't like they had to worry about any neighbors climbing the fence with chakra to walk right into the house. It was a beautiful day outside, and Kakashi suddenly felt the urge to relax in the perfect weather with a good book. After all, he'd already finished bringing all of the boxes inside and he deserved a break. 

After a quick rummage through his box marked 'Important Things', Kakashi grabbed a copy of Icha Icha Violence and let himself wander outside, his eyes squinting as they adjusted to the sudden change in brightness. The back yard was really quite spacious and even had its own large tree that he would undoubtedly use to spend lazy days hiding from people once he was officially inaugurated as Hokage. It still baffled him that Tsunade had chosen him as her successor, but Naruto wasn't ready to take the helm yet and she'd made the argument that no one else would be better suited for being Hokage during times of peace, given his relaxed (albeit lazy) nature.

Kakashi let his eyes wander around the yard as they finally adjusted to the sunlight, scanning through the patches of green and brown until they landed on the shade of pink he always seemed to seek out. His feet started guiding him to where Sakura sat under the large tree with a book in her hands before he even thought about it, pulling his mask down to breathe in the crisp autumn air.

They had spent a good six months going back and forth between their apartments until finally deciding to get a place together when he had started the training process to one day lead the village. The only place they'd been able to find at a reasonable price between the Hokage tower and the hospital had been this house, and although Kakashi still thought that it was a little excessive (what did they even _need_ three bedrooms for, anyway?) he'd given in when he saw the way Sakura's eyes had sparkled. 

"Why are you reading a book on frogs?"

Sakura looked up, a soft smile on her lips as if she'd hear him approach before he'd even spoken. Not for the first time, he had a moment of disbelief as he wondered how he'd managed to get so lucky. Here was this beautiful woman with a smile that could melt even the iciest of hearts, and she had chosen _him_ to spent the rest of her life with. The ring on her left hand sparkled in the sunlight at that exact moment, as if mocking his disbelief. 

"Kankurou managed to weasel some poisons out of Moyagakure and wants to make antidotes for them. Apparently they behave similarly to the venom of a few species of amphibians and reptiles in that area and he asked for our help, so I'm looking for information on the amphibians while Shizune takes care of the reptiles," Sakura replied, letting her eyes linger on his just a moment longer before returning to her book.

Kakashi hummed softly as he plopped down beside her, letting their shoulders touch and smiling when she immediately leaned her head against him. He opened Icha Icha with one hand while he let the other rest on her thigh, running small circles absently over the fabric of her pants with his thumb as he began to read.

They sat there together quietly, both of them absorbed in their own books. Occasionally he would kiss the top of her head and sometimes she would lace their fingers together until she needed to turn the page in her book, but for the most part they just let themselves relax in each other's presence. 

"Why don't you summon them? Show them their new home?" Sakura asked cautiously, her voice breaking the silence as she bridged the topic they'd been avoiding ever since he'd gotten his hearing back.

Kakashi pulled his eyes away from his book to look up, only now noticing that the sky around them had started to darken. He hadn't summoned his ninken once in the last six months, not since he'd been warned by Tsunade that there might be some lingering effects from the jutsu that could keep him from being able to hear them ever again. It had scared him enough that he hadn't been able to find the courage to summon them. 

When he'd first lost his hearing almost a year ago, he'd had a hard time getting used to it. Feeling vibrations through the floor had helped, but it had been almost impossible to truly relax when he was alone. Years of training had forced him into the habit of always listening for danger, but once that had been taken away, he'd been left feeling vulnerable and exposed. 

Even so, losing his hearing hadn't been the worst part of it - losing the ability to hear his ninken had been. Finding himself feeling so defenseless and being unable to hear his most trusted companions, the ones who helped keep him sane throughout some of the hardest years of his life, had been devastating.

"I'm sure it'll be okay," Sakura whispered, pulling him from his thoughts. It was then that Kakashi realized that Sakura had put her book down to wrap both of her hands around the one he still had resting on her thigh. "I was able to smell Katsuyu-sama just fine, and no one else had their links with their summons affected once the jutsu was broken."

"I know," Kakashi sighed, shutting Icha Icha and letting his head fall back against the tree. He knew that he should look at things logically and keep himself from thinking irrationally. It was something he was usually good at, but there was still a part of him that was unable to be rational when it came to the fear of losing his ninken. Sure, he could just have people translate for the rest of his life, but it wouldn't be the same.

His ninken were probably worried about him by now - it had been six months, after all. He knew they would be able to feel that their link wasn't broken, so they were aware that he was alive at the very least, but Bisuke was probably a nervous wreck by now.

Kakashi glanced around the large back yard, and for an instant he imagined them running around in front of him while he read by the tree. His chest ached at the pictures floating around in his mind; he knew that they would love this yard. They had always hated his tiny apartment, and the lower level of the house itself had more than enough space for all of them to live together comfortably. 

Sakura squeezed his hand gently, and he felt a breath he hadn't known he was holding expel all at once. She was right, of course. Out of everyone who had ever been affected by the jutsu, not a single person had ever had their link with their summons permanently affected, and it was very unlikely that he would be the first.

After placing one last kiss on top of Sakura's head, Kakashi finally stood again. He stretched his arms above his head to work out the kinks in his muscles as he walked toward the center of the yard, feeling his breaths become shorter as his nerves made their presence known. This was it.

Before he had a chance to think it over too much more, Kakashi knelt down on one knee and bit down on his thumb before making the hand signs and pressing his palm into the ground. He watched as all eight ninken appeared in a puff of smoke, Akino taking the front with Bull directly behind him. The others were on either side of them, except for Pakkun who was perched on top of Bull's head, his eyes staring directly ahead. Kakashi waited with bated breath, his heart hammering in his chest as he watched Pakkun tilt his head to the side before opening his jaws.

"What took you so long, Boss?"

With that one sentence Kakashi felt every ounce of tension flee his body, leaving him feeling exhausted and boneless as he fought to keep the tears from forming in his eyes. He was an adult, damn it. He would not cry because of this. 

The ninken seemed to immediately understand his current emotional state, because before he could fully grasp what was going on, they had all charged toward him and knocked him over, drowning him a sea of fur. Somewhere to the side Sakura was laughing, drawing the attention of some of his ninken as the fur around him lessened. The rest of them stayed above him, Bull pinning him to the ground as they licked him relentlessly. He was far too relieved at being able to hear them again to care about the slobber he would have to clean off of him later.

"Hey, Boss! Why does Sakura-chan smell funny?"

Kakashi opened his eyes wearily, wiping the slobber from his face as Bull finally allowed him to sit up. He watched as all of his ninken slowly surrounded Sakura, apparently interested in whatever Akino had asked about.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, running a hand through his hair and grimacing at the thick slobber that seemed to coat every strand. Yeah, he would definitely need a long shower after this.

"Sakura-chan smells like Sakura-chan, but also not like Sakura-chan," Akino said slowly, sniffing at Sakura more intently as the other ninken let out sounds of agreement. "She smells like you Boss, but it's not just on the outside. She smells like you inside, too."

Kakashi glanced at Sakura to see if she had any idea what they were talking about, his curiosity instantly becoming piqued when he realized that she was refusing to look at him. Her eyes were fixed on the book she had reopened, her face stubbornly calm despite the tension rippling through her. Pakkun was the last one to join the group, sniffing at Sakura's stomach for only a few seconds before sitting back on his haunches and snorting in a way that reminded Kakashi of the fact that he was, in fact, a pug. 

"Don't ask dumb questions, Akino. It's obviously because she's carrying his pup."

It took Kakashi longer than he was willing to admit to understand what Pakkun was implying, and even when he started to understand it didn't fully register in his mind. He kept his eyes on Sakura, watching the way her eyes shifted around the page nervously. Her shoulders were stubbornly squared as she tried to pretend she wasn't paying attention even as his ninken surrounded her and sniffed relentlessly. 

"Sakura," Kakashi began, his words catching in his throat even as his body stood and instinctively started moving toward her. She kept her eyes fixed on her book, which Kakashi noticed was now upside down, but her teeth were chewing on her lower lip and he was suddenly hit with the realization that Pakkun was right. 

Finally, Sakura let her eyes rise slowly to rest on his face. She looked scared, like she was about to cry. Kakashi returned to his previous position beside her, reaching out to take the book from her hands and gently place it on the ground. A shaky breath left his lungs as he gathered his courage to ask, "How long?"

"I don't know, maybe a month. I just found out," Sakura replied, her words breaking in her throat. She was nervous. Kakashi watched her for a moment with a sense of wonder, one hand rising to cup her cheek. Sakura inhaled sharply, leaning into his touch as if on instinct, and Kakashi felt his heart rise in his chest as it swelled. "You're not angry?"

He had expected Sakura to say or ask any number of things, but that question definitely hadn't been one of them. It surprised him enough that he froze, letting his eyes wander across her face. Sure, it was something they had never really discussed except in passing, but he had never been particularly against the idea. Now, as he watched the nerves flash through Sakura's eyes, he found himself again stunned by how beautiful she was even when she was on the verge of tears. He wanted to be with Sakura for the rest of his life, and he knew that as surely as he knew his own name. The idea of having a child with her had never really occurred to him, but now that it was there in his mind, he found himself loving the idea more and more with each passing second. 

A grin burst from his lips as he pulled Sakura forward into an embrace, wrapping his arms tight around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head gently. He could feel a shuddered breath leave her as she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed tight enough to be painful, but he paid it no mind. This was the woman he loved, the woman who would soon be his wife and the _mother of his child_ , something he had never known he would grow to want so much. He could deal with a few bruises, especially since he knew that she would just heal them later.

"I'm definitely not angry," Kakashi whispered into her ear, his words drawing out a choked sob from the woman in his arms. Somewhere to his side, he heard his ninken running around the yard, and suddenly he was filled with the realization that for the first time in his life, he felt complete. This was where he was meant to be, and where he wanted to be for the rest of his life - surrounded by family, by _his_ family. It had taken him a long time to find them, but now that he had, he never wanted to let go.

*****  
One Year, Six Months Later  
*****

"Are you ready?"

Kakashi opened his mouth to say that no, he really wasn't, but Tsunade quickly cut him off with a grin and held up her hand, as if she knew what he was going to say. Before he could protest or question why she'd bothered asking in the first place, she turned on her heel and walked toward the edge of the roof to address the people who had gathered below the Hokage tower.

Kakashi sighed, shifting where he stood as he let his eyes roam over the crowd. He knew that people tended to go crazy when a new Hokage was inaugurated, but having this many people show up was _absurd_. There were a fair number of people he recognized, some distinctly and others vaguely, but there were so many people that he swore he'd never seen in his life that it made his head spin. 

His eyes stopped scanning the crowd as he finally found the familiar pink hair he'd been looking for, a soft smile tugging at his lips underneath the mask as she immediately noticed him watching her. Sakura beamed up at him, waving one arm excitedly in the air. He nodded his head and watched as she moved her arm back down to cradle the bundle in her arms, the small tuft of silver hair pulling the smile further across his lips. They'd given her the name Mayu.

Sakura had been disappointed at first that their daughter hadn't been born with her pink hair, but Kakashi had promised that if Mayu ever wanted to dye her hair pink when she grew older, he wouldn't fight it. Tsunade had just told her to make another one if she wanted the pink hair so much, causing Sakura to blush and look away from both of them. She hadn't mentioned it again.

His attention was drawn to an inky black movement in the crowd from just a bit in front of Sakura. His eyes narrowed as he watched Akahito begin walking toward Sakura, a determined set in his shoulders and a cocky smirk on his lips. Even from atop the Hokage tower, Kakashi could tell that Sakura's ex was not planning on approaching her with good intentions.

Fortunately, Mayu seemed to have been born with Kakashi's natural instincts when it came to danger. Even at ten months, her forest green eyes turned almost immediately to look at the man who was now just a few steps away from them to watch him curiously. She had her fist in her mouth and was slobbering all over it. Sakura had tried to stop her from doing that for about a week before giving up after realizing there were better things to focus on. 

Akahito closed the distance between him and Sakura, who was too caught up in a conversation with their neighbor who was standing behind her to notice his approach. Kakashi watched curiously as Mayu took her hand out of her mouth and reached out with her tiny fingers still balled in a fist, smearing her slobber all over Akahito's fancy overcoat. Sakura chose that moment to turn back around, her eyes widening when she saw what Mayu had done until she realized whose coat it was. Her emerald eyes narrowed on him as she replied to whatever he'd said, the twitch in her eyebrow making Kakashi hope that he wouldn't have to defend his wife punching a civilian on his first day in office. He really didn't want to have to deal with all of that paperwork.

Luckily, Akahito seemed to realize how dangerous the situation was because he turned sharply on his heel and stalked off through the crowd. Kakashi watched him for a moment before turning his eyes back to Sakura and Mayu, to his _family_ , the smile returning to his lips as he watched the way Sakura spoke softly to their daughter with a proud grin. Of course, not every parent could say that their infant somehow knew how to punch their exes, so her pride was understandable.

Kakashi's vision went black suddenly as something was placed onto his head, his arms immediately moving to attack the foreign object before realizing that Tsunade had plopped the Hokage hat onto his head sideways. He let out a sigh as he turned the hat around and finally tuned back in to Tsunade's speech, knowing that at any moment he would have to step forward and do a little wave for the crowd. There was no way he was making a speech, though.

"Allow me to introduce to you all your new Hokage, Hatake Kakashi!"

Tsunade turned to smile at him, gesturing toward him with her arms even as she mouthed the words 'Good luck'. If it had been any of the other previous Hokage, he would have considered them words of encouragement, but he knew better coming from Tsunade. It was a warning of how annoying his life was about to become.

With a small inaudible sigh, Kakashi stepped forward the last few steps until he reached the railing. The excited roaring of the crowd made him want to turn back around and disappear, but when his eyes found Sakura again he paused. Her eyes were shining with pride, her teeth gleaming in the sunlight with a bright smile that he knew was saved for rare occasions. From where Sakura stood, he caught glimpses of his friends and companions in the crowd, every single one of them smiling. Naruto was bouncing and cheering, standing next to Gai who looked like he was about to start drowning in a pool of his own tears. 

It was then that he realized that Sakura and Mayu were not his only family anymore. They would always be the most important to him of course, but he now had a responsibility to look after every person in this village, the village that he loved with all of his heart. 

With one final step forward and a wave of his hand, Kakashi was officially inaugurated as the Rokudaime Hokage. He knew that leading the village wouldn’t be an easy task, but he had his friends and family by his side. Everything would be okay.

*****  
THE (ACTUAL) END  
*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Okay, I swear, I have nothing else planned for this story. XD_
> 
> _The last scene is dedicated to TheCopyMistress, who wanted to see more of Kakashi antagonizing Sakura's exes. I wanted it too, and this seemed like the perfect way to go about it._
> 
> _Thank you everyone for reading this. ♥_


End file.
